Sunday, October 28, 2007


I'm on the cusp!

In the profiles of websites based here in the U.S., I'm 42 years old. But on websites based in the UK where you can find my profile such as and, I've already become 43. So if you're on Greenwich Mean Time, it would be appropriate to wish me a happy birthday.

And if you're here in the US, then you have precious little shopping time left.

If you had asked me yesterday what I wanted for my birthday, I would have been stumped for an answer. (As friends have pointed out to me, being a man who denies himself nothing, I'm tough to buy for.) But now, I have a clue.

At Ho(t)me(n) Depot today, I was helping a woman pick out fixtures for her shower. When she settled on one, she got a big smile. "This is the last thing," she said.

"Are you renovating a bathroom?" I asked.

"Better than that," she said.

She explained that her husband was in Iraq. He wouldn't be back until March. And when he gets back, she has a surprise waiting for him. She's turned the basement of their home into a Man Cave for him.

I think I gasped.

"Yeah!" she said, overjoyed that her idea had so obviously hit home with me.

"Flat screen tv. Keg cooler. Leather sofa that has one of those recliner things. Home gym. Sauna. Hammock. Workbench. It's got blue and white carpet tiles because he's a big Penn State fan. Microwave and a fridge."

"Oh. My. God."

That was all I got out.

"Yeah! And he has totally no idea."

Can you imagine?

Oh. And by the way. When she said she "turned the basement of their home into his Man Cave," that's what she meant. She did all the work herself. She nailed up the studs, she hung the drywall and paneling, she put down the floors, she did the plumbing. (She had sauna people come and install the sauna though.) She explained that it gave her a lot to do and that kept her from going crazy.

Oh man.

I want a Man Cave.

You could probably hold off on the flat screen tv and the recliner-sofa.

Items for my Man Cave...

• Free weights
• Desk
• Bookshelves
• Big uphostered futon covered platform for sprawling upon and reading the paper and such
• St. Andrew's Cross
• My great cage
• A welding workshop
• A fire place

And my Man Cave would have one of those three-season porch things, with a hot tub and a shower stall.


My Man Cave.

I want a Man Cave.

But more than that, I think I want a man. A man who would lovingly build me a Man Cave. And who gets me so well that he would know just what to put in that Man Cave. So when I got back from--well, maybe not Iraq, but how about from taking care of my father out here in the Howling Wilderness of Pennsylvania--I would see that it was just perfect.

Or y'know what? I'd settle for a man who gets me. Who really gets me.

That would be perfect.

And that's what I want for my birthday.


'bastian said...

I won't pretend to 'get you' just from a blog, but I definitely understand what you'd want in a Man Cave.

And you need a puppy pad, for your boy, made with a leather cover, for him to curl up at your feet while you work at your desk. ;)

Anonymous said...

Happy Bday big man. Don't know the address so I can sent gifts.....but damn glad you're back to chatting on the blog. Seems like things are looking up for ya. Let's hope one of those hot men at HD nails you in the warehouse sometime soon....