Broke

This is unbelievable. Almost to the point of getting me to revise my cosmology.

Yesterday when I got home, fumbling around with the groceries, and I dropped one of the bags. The bag contained only one item: a dozen eggs. i swore like a sailor. Amazingly, only a few of the eggs were broke. And but dang that pissed me off.

So this morning, rushing off to work, my practially new cell phone head set thingy got caught in the door. The wire snapped. So it's broke and I can't afford to buy a new one. And that practically renders my cell phone, which is soon to be cut off anyway, all but unuseable because the teeny tiny speaker in it is broke.

After work, went kayaking, hit Starbucks, then headed to the gym. Luckily, I'm paid through the end of August. I took two weeks off and lost ten pounds. So I've got six weeks to get my body back for Inferno. If I can manage to scrape together the $350 I owe by the end of August. And that's going to be tough, because I'm flat broke. And with every day that goes by, it's less and less likely that I'll get a spot. So I might not even get to Inferno this year. And by the way, unluckily, paying for the gym exhausted my bank account. I hate that.

So at the gym, I was undressing, feeling good looking forward to my workout. (Legs tonight.) While taking off my watch, the strap broke. My watch. I love that watch. Oh hell. I hate that. Maybe I can get a new strap made. But, of course, not right now, because I'm broke. Muttering under my breath, but doing my best not to get out of my workout headspace, I threw my stuff into the locker, and put the lock on. Then, I realized that I didn't have the key to the padlock I had just secured. Unbelievable. I've never done that in twenty years of gym going.

So after my workout, I had borrowing bolt cutters from the staff to look forward to. More muttering under my breath as I broke into my locker. And in doing so, broke my padlock.

So how am I? I'm broke.

I am so broke. Broke and broken.

This is all just too much. I've been plagued by insomnia lately. Even though the weather is gorgeous (96 again today!); even though I had the opportunity to whip an amazing man on Sunday courtesy of my old buddy Bus Driver; even though I loved playing softball on Saturday and played pretty well, I'm low.

What I want... what I really want... is for someone to hold me while I cry. This is all just too much.

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