Ask Mr. Plumber!

Today at Ho(t)me(n) Depot, this smokin' hot boy came in with his mother. She needed a new toilet, and he was going to install it for her. She agonized over her choice of a new toilet, checking out everything we had in stock, looking through the catalog at all the different Kohler styles, debating whether to go with plain white or if Kohler's Sandstone color (which is one of my favorites) would work better with her tile.

I spent lots of time with her, because I couldn't take my eyes off her son. When I was explaining stuff to him out of the catalog, I got in real close, so close I could feel his body heat.

He was beautiful. Shaved head, ballcap, goatee, black tshirt from Daytona Bike Week over a white thermal, big blue eyes, bee stung lips.

Finally, I couldn't hold back any longer.

It turned out he was going to be installing the new toilet, although he had never done this before. I was talking him through the process, which is pretty simple. You put the wax ring around the falange at the mouth of the sewer pipe, set the new toilet on top, get it so it's steady, and bolt it down. He had removed the old toilet, which cracked, and he referred to the sewer pipe as "the hole." As in, "So I just put the the wax ring over the hole?"

Now, there's an old plumbers' trick if you have water leaking into the bowl from the tank: you take some vaseline and put it around the flapper to make for a good tight seal.

So I couldn't resist...

"Now, for a really good seal, before you put the wax ring on, take a big glob of vaseline and smear it around the hole. You'll want to grease up your hole really good. Then put the wax ring in place and set the new toilet and bolt it in."

"Grease up your hole really good."

I just wanted to say those words to that hot boy.

And Ho(t)me(n) Depot gave me an opportunity.

I love my job.