Thursday, November 08, 2007

Why My Coming To Wear The Orange Apron Was Not A Matter Of Chance But Of Destiny, Part CCXLII

So the other day at work, I noticed that the background music that they play... well... there is significant overlap between those cuts and the Most Frequently Played tracks on my iPod.


Not in every case. Ho(t)me(n) Depot doesn't seem to favor the Seventies the way I do, and that insipid song "Closing Time" makes me nuts, but other than that, it's down right spooky.

I don't quite know what to make of that.

Although, as if in confirmation of that, today I received Part One of my 90-Day Review. I rated a V. At Ho(t)me(n) Depot, V stands for "Achiever." On the rating system, there's N, M, V, and O. Probably that originally stood for Needs Improvement, Meets Expectations, Very Good, and Outstanding, but the Powers That Be seem to have felt that Performer, Achiever, and Leader in Excellence better captured the flavor of what they wanted. I forget what the new term for Needs Improvement is. Maybe something like "Stinko" or something.

But at any rate, I'm an Achiever. Eighty percent of Ho(t)me(n) Depot employees get a Performer. Some get Stinko. Apparently you have to drag our CEO out of a burning building to get a Leader in Excellence, and a chosen few get a to be Achievers. And I'm one of them.

My Department Head told me that he was grooming me as his replacement when he moves on to bigger and better things. And that in his estimation, if you want to make Assistant Store Manager (at which point the Ho(t)me(n) Depot world is your oyster), your best to head up one of the Special Services departments, such as my own Kitchens And Baths.

And this was only a Get By job. A part time gig until I found something more appropriate.

I'm almost ashamed about how much I like working at Ho(t)me(n) Depot. And it's not just that half of our customers are right out of a Hot Desert Knights video. The work suits me. I like the people I work with. Every day brings some new challenge that I tackle with pluck and aplomb, so as I'm walking out (always through Building Materials, where the hottest men are usually to be found), I've got a smile on my face.

And... like... they have three Ho(t)me(n) Depots in the Coachella Valley in Southern California.

Okay. So it's not being a Master of the Universe. Or as someone I know said, I "could do better." But what's wrong with having a job I like that pays a salary I can live on?

Hey! What's that song they're playing? I love that song!

1 comment:

Steve said...

If only you hadn't worn shorts that day!! You woulda snagged Leader in Excellence for sure!