Monday, August 18, 2008

Big News!

Okay.

August 29th.

It's a new Vin Diesel movie!

It's been a long time since Vin (Chained At My Feet, Soaked In My Piss) Diesel has had a movie in theaters, so I'd best go over the First Rule Of Singletails.

Now as opposed to some other weblogs you might read, you will notice that here at Singletails, we do not subject you to advertising nor do we have a tip jar. There's only one small thing that you as a reader are asked to do: go see every movie that Vin (Chained At My Feet, Soaked In My Piss) Diesel appears in. And then, when the DVD release happens, you have to go buy the DVD or download the whole movie on iTunes.

That's all that's asked of you.

You see, I am totally obsessed with Vin (Chained At My Feet, Soaked In My Piss) Diesel. For a full four minutes on screen in XXX, he was wearing handcuffs. In Pitch Black, he spends the first sequences of the movie restrained into this frame kind of thing. And then in the Pitch Black prequel, whatever the hell it was called, he was threatened with being turned into an obedient, mindless zombie. All of these work nicely into my fantasy of having Vin chained and helpless at my feet, his face contorted with impotent rage while I douse him with a nice load of my piss. I want to see Vin (Chained At My Feet, Soaked In My Piss) Diesel have a long, long, long career in movies. Especially action movies. (It's okay if you missed the movie where he plays the Navy Seal guy who's being a babysitter since that's not exactly my genre of choice.) But if he doesn't do big box office, he'll be back to working as a doorman which does me no good whatsoever.

Thus, all I ask of you in return for the many pleasures of reading SingleTails is that you sit through 90 minutes of Vin.

So make your plans now for August 29th.

1 comment:

'bastian said...

Hmmm, Vin Diesel is hot!

I feel the same way about Jason Statham. He is one of the few blonds I would do, and he is smoking hot.

He has a movie coming out soon, and it looks really cheesy. So you had better go watch, SIR. :)