Blue Moon

In New York City, relationships are tricky things. I always used to say that the big problem in New York is that there's always someone standing behind you. A reasonably attractive gay man in possession of an income and a place to live must be in search of a partner. (Apologies to Jane Austen there.) So you go out and meet a guy who you like a lot, but wait... who's that standing behind him? Someone with a better body and a better job and a cooler apartment. And meanwhile, he's looking over your shoulder at the guy with the better body and the better job and the cooler apartment than you have, and so you just exchange "see ya around, be well"'s with each other and you're once again plunged into the maelstrom.

When I moved out here to the Howling Wilderness, I viewed with jaundiced eye the rural homo phenomenon of coupling. They're like oxygen atoms out here, always in dyads. But it's a matter of magnetic attraction. They come close to each other, and fffthoop they combine to form a couple. But as soon as a free radical comes to close, they part and a new coupling is formed.

Okay.

Perhaps I was a wee bit too free with my derision. (I know... Me??? Unbelievable.) Because what I've come to understand is that being single here in the Howling Wilderness is way way way different than being single in Gotham.

Y'see, it can be crushingly and excruciatingly lonely.

We're talking, No one to go to the movies with ever. Nobody to make dinner with. Nobody to go canoeing with. When you see friends and acquaintances, it's out at the local watering hole, and that's because you're all there hunting up the next Little Mister.

The obvious answer is to lower your standards. If he has a pulse, he's Mr. Right. But I spent way too much time as New Yorker to have that meet with much success. Be an asshole to our waiter or dis Starbucks and I'm punching my fists through the arms of my leather jacket as I head out the door.

And, I'm soooo leery of making an Unwise Choice. (Jane Austen again. I really ought to re-read some of her stuff. Or, y'know, watch some of thhe movie adaptations. Decision: Rent Clueless!) Things just seem so much more frought out here. I mean, in Gotham, you meet, you fuck, you date, you hang out, he mistreats a waiter or bemoans a Starbucks opening up on his block and you're gone. But out here, it would probably require A Conversation and stuff. And they're probably all about monogamy out here.

So, y'know, I have nobody to go to the movies with.

But I make due. I've got the krew at Starbucks, I've got trips to NYC for softball and such, I've got the Bike Stop down in Philadelphia. I've got a garage to clear out.

And I've got a Blockbuster membership card.

Remember the Carrie Bradshaw principle: "The most important relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And in the event that you find someone who appreciates everything about you that you do, then that's just fabulous."

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