Dose Of Reality

I am an absolute sucker for reality tv. (I'm really upset about how all my favorite castaways keep losing the contests on The Real Gilligan's Island.) Fan as I am of the genre, I've thought some about how about BDSM could serve as the basis of a reality show. I mean, the possibilities for contests are endless. But what could the overall scheme be?

Well, it looks like VH1 is a few steps ahead of me.

Check out Kept.

Okay okay okay. So it's not overtly about BDSM.

Here's what it is about...

Jerry Hall, the former Mrs. Mick Jagger, is seeking a kept man. A troop of hot, stupid, and narciscistic American boys are flown to London to compete for the honor. All the guys just don't get it. At all.

Like, they're constantly saying things like, "I wish I could get some time alone with Jerry cuz I'm sure we'd have a romantic connection." And Jerry is constantly saying things like, "My kept man must no how to handle himself in a variety of social situations as I won't have him embarrassing me. Ever."

Uh huh.

And what's that "kept man" thing about anyway?

Well, the winner gets to be Jerry's escort of sorts, and will receive a six figure "allowance" for one year. Doing what Jerry wants him to do, wearing what Jerry wants him to wear, looking the way Jerry wants him to look.

And Jerry is constantly saying things like, "What a great opportunity to take this raw material and create from it my ideal kept man."

In the episode I saw, the guys got a lesson in etiquette (how many times have I heard that etiquette is the key component of a good boy?), and for an art lesson, had to strip and pose naked with spears, shields, and such.

How humiliating, huh?

(Yeah. I'm grinning.)

So what we're talking about is one of these hot, clueless, men competing to spend a year as the boy of Jerry Hall.

boy, my bags. boy, amuse me. boy, I'll have a massage now.

I mean, can't you just see it dawning on the guy what he's gotten himself into? Like maybe Jerry, after a long day of shopping, will use him as a footstool, and he'll realize that the "romantic connection" he was hoping for isn't going to transpire anytime soon.

Sweeeet.

My choice for a boy... oh excuse me "kept man" was tragically eliminated in the art contest. But I think he's a hot one.

Long live power imbalance relationships!

---