Who's Ernie? Who's Bert?

It's pretty much an established fact that the folks at the Children's Television Workshop created Sesame Street's Ernie and Bert to socialize proto-homo viewers into the dynamics of gay male relationships. As a result, in every gay relationship there's an Ernie and a Bert. The Ernie is the larking, never serious, fun-lovin', spontaneous one. The Bert is the pragmatic, unimaginative, light-bill-is-paid-on-time, grounded one. There is no room for variation! With my Ex, we started out both vying to be the Bert. He won, and I was pretty unhappy being the Ernie. With the Special Guy, I think at the outset we were both vying to be the Ernie. I'm feeling myself slipping into the Bert role. And I'm liking it. I think I'll make a good Bert.

"Okay, Bert. I'm not going to eat crackers in bed... I'm going to eat crackers in YOUR bed!"