The Big Date

I am very excited. In about 45 minutes, I'm heading south to meet up with this guy I've chatted with on AOL. This big, bearded, cigar smoking guy. Very excited.

What do you pack on a date?

Here's what I'm bringing along...

• Standard cowskin flogger
  
• Soft and thuddy doeskin flogger
  
• Thin stranded kangaroo flogger
  
• Thuddy elk flogger
  
• Braided cat whisper whip
  
• Joe Wheeler-made rigid handle signal whip
  
• Bernie of Tasmania made blue signal whip
  
• wrist restraints
  
• About 250 feet of rope
  
• Six candles, assorted colors
  
• Twelve rolls of vet wrap, assorted colors
  
• One role of Saran Wrap
  
• Eight rolls of duct tape, assorted colors
  
• One leather muzzle
  
• One leather bit gag
  
• One pair of sap gloves
  
• One police issue polycarbonate nightstick
  
• One pair handcuffs
  
• One leather collar
  
• One spritz bottle containing mixture of Hydrogen Peroxide and Witch Hazel
  
• 150 lbs of chain
  
• 16 keyed-alike padlocks
  
• One leather paddle
  
• One complete cowskin, dyed black
  
• About one hundred clothespins
  
• One Omron electric massager
  
• One head mounted flashlight
  
• One pair of kneepads
  
• One white towel
  
• One set of industrial clamps
  
• One container of J-Lube
  
• Six Grenadier cigars
  
• Six Dutch Masters cigars
  
• My toothbrush
  

And probably a few other things I'm forgetting about but will toss into my EMS utility bag on my way out the door. Technically, I bring the 150 pounds of chain with me wherever I go--to the supermarket, to the gym, to the Raven, to welding class--not because I'm anticipating chaining anyone up at these various venues, but because it's a pain in the butt to get them in and out of the Jeep.

Hope I win the coin toss!

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