Jiminy Crickets. So I head off to lunch today, thinking "I'll take care of getting calling cards printed up!" This has been on my To Do list like forever. I made a mock-up of what I wanted and headed to my dear pals at Milo Printing. I did a mock up of what I wanted... an image of a coiled snake whip (I found the jpeg on the internet) and my name, address, etc.

I walked into Milo. Milo printed up some brochures for work. They were absolutely a pleasure to work with.

So I walk up to the counter and say, "Hi! I'm here for some business cards."
"Got it on a disk?" came the reply.

Well, this wasn't quite what I was expecting. I was thinking that someone would sit down with me, look at what I was after, and help me come up with a design. We could have some fun. I'd pay handsomely and be grateful and send all my friends there. Or something.

"Uh... no... but this is an idea of what I'm after" I said, producing my mock-up.

"This isn't Quark, is it? It needs to be in Quark. And this picture... you got that off the internet, right? Won't work. Got to be 300 dpi. Probably only 24 dpi."

"Oh. Okay." I put my mock-up back in my bag. Slowly headed to the door. I was expecting them to say something like, "Whoa whoa whoa! Let's see what we can do for you.." Nope. There I was, back on the sidewalk. Pathetically clutching my wee little mock-up.

I mean, c'mon. So you want business cards? Step One: Learn to use Quark. That's nuts, right? So why don't I see note cards posted in coffee bars to the effect of 'Need a Business Card with catchy design? Call me now!" Someone with Quark and an eye for design could make money hand over fist. Lord knows New York City is the land of "Need headshots? Professional Photographer will blah blah blah." There are a hell of a lot more people out there who need business cards than there are who need head shots.