Theory Of Crash

What the hell happened there, huh?

Okay. Remember in high school when the yearbook was full of pictures of people that signed up for the yearbook committee?

Right?

Same deal.

Crash. As Jon Stewart put it, "Will everybody who wasn't in Crash please raise your hand? A bunch of industry types sitting around in LA decided, let's make a really hard hitting movie... About a really relevant social issue... Maybe... Racism! Yeah! Let's make a movie confronting America about racism! (Notice that everybody who made the movie and wrote the movie was white?) We'll put everybody who hasn't found work this year in it. Everybody gets a part! Everybody gets paid! Cool?

I know I'm right about this.

And the strategy worked. Since everybody in the Academy probably knew somebody who was in Crash, they got the votes.

And oh yeah, as the current City Council Speaker in NYC observed to me when out lesbian Karen Burnstein lost the New York Attorny General race to the brain dead nobody disaster Dennis Vacco, "People really don't like to vote for gays."

But if Capote or Syriana or Goodnight And Good Luck had won Best Picture, I would have been okay. Because it would have been like the Academy saying, "You didn't see this movie, but you really should." But Crash came out last February, so it's not like anybody else is going to even have the opportunity to see it.

But not Crash, which from everything I've heard is ponderous, clunky, and punctuated with hit-them-over-the-head-with-it messages.

We was robbed.

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