Well that's unsettling.
I had this dream last night.
In the dream, I was in a high-end women's clothing store. And there I saw a friend of mine from college, Janet, whom I haven't seen in twenty years. A couple of times, Janet walked right by me, despite my calls of "Janet! Janet!" Then she recognized me. And it turned out that another woman I knew from college, Donna, worked for Janet, who ran the store.
Both Janet and Donna pretty much looked like they did in college, only older. Although Janet had fabric braided into her long brown hair, which worked in a way. The three of us talked for a bit, then Janet, showing me her store, said, "And you've got to see this!" and took me out back.
In the back yard was this odd landscape of reddish-orange rubber in layers about two inches thick, and cut so that it resembled topographical lines. I didn't quite know what to think. Then Janet pointed to a pool in the rubber, again with the topographical lines, about eight feet long and four feet wide, shaped like... well... like a big vagina.
Janet, Donna, and I stripped down and took a dip in the pool, which turned out to be a hot tub. And there we sat, naked in the hot tub. Janet and Donna had great bodies, totally Girls Gone Wild. And I was fascinated by Donna's breasts, pert and plump, about the size of beefsteak tomatoes, with swollen nipples, one of which was pierced.
To the best of my recollection, I have never in my life had such an erotic dream involving men. In fact, my dreams don't tend to be very erotic, or if they are, they're vague and symbollic.
Me and two beautiful naked women soaking in a giant red pussy.
What. Is. Up. With. That?
When I woke up, I was having pleasant thoughs about how nice it would be to have sex with Donna. Or Janet. Or Donna and Janet. Especially playing with their boobies. In a big red rubber hot tub shaped like a vagina.
Back in college, Janet and I were friends, but I didn't like Donna much. And she was engaged to a guy who I didn't like at all, who was kind of my arch-rival, although he and I were always friendly to each other, stemming from mutual respect.
My life in high school was dominated by fear. All about fear. I was so afraid. Of everything, but mostly of just being noticed.
That fear stayed with me in college, when I knew Janet and Donna. And for a few years after college.
But this morning, lying there in bed as I came to consciousness, I realized that these days, I'm pretty fearless.
So where did all that fear go? Did I overcome it? Did I outgrow it?
And I wonder how hard it would be to clean and maintain a red rubber pussy shaped hot tub?