Friday, August 31, 2007

Real Life Conversations: Senator Craig

(Setting: The porch of Starbucks in Doylestown.)

Tom: Drew, what the hell is up with that Senator from Idaho that got arrested?

Me: You mean the one that got arrested for tapping his foot in the airport men's room?

Tom: Yeah. Is that illegal?

Me: Apparently it is. So take note.

John: Does that make you gay? I've never heard of gays foot tapping in bathrooms.

Me: No, that doesn't make you gay. That makes you a straight guy who wants to suck some dick.

Tom and John: !

Tom: That's different from being gay?

Me: Oh yeah.

John: Well what does a gay guy do when he wants to have sex?

Me: He goes home and he says, "Sweetheart! Tell ya what: I'll take us out for dinner tonight so you don't have to cook. Let's head up to the bedroom, 'kay?"

[And by the way, what the hell? It's a good use of the taxpayer's dollar to post officers in stalls looking to bust elderly men for foot tapping? Might that officer's salary have been better spent on a bridge inspector? Outrageous.]

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