Thursday, December 20, 2007

What I'm Not Getting For Christmas This Year

"So what are you not getting for Christmas this year?"

The question was posed, and it was an interesting one. If you think about it, what you are getting--especially if you know you're getting it five days before The Day, is sort of beside the point. But what you're not getting... definitionally, that's the stuff of dreams.

So what is the Man Who Denies Himself Nothing not getting? I thought and thought. There's the iPhone, but whatever. I'm fine with my BlackBerry. And cigars are always good with me, although I'm ridiculously particular about cigars. Wine and liquor are mostly wasted on me. Lobster and raw oysters are welcome, but logistically difficult.

But by Not Thinking About It, I thought of it. Something I've always always wanted: a straight razor head shave. Finished off with something like Bay Rum. And old school barbers I've visited have included a sort of backrub in the whole barbering experience. This is particularly welcome. Why isn't it done anymore? One guy I went to had a sort of vibrating pad he laid across my shoulders, providing that Magic Fingers kinda massage and some heat. After a head shave (the clippers kind that I used to favor when I was still going to barbers instead of taking care of myself in the shower every morning with a triple blade), it's bliss.

So here's what I'm not getting for Christmas this year: A straight razor head shave followed by a gentle backrub until I fall asleep.

That would be perfect.


What are you not getting for Christmas this year?


RazorBuzz said...

Drew: We just saw Sweeney Todd this afternoon. I'd put the straight razor head shave on the back burner for a while, if I were you. ;)

That movie will do for straight razors what Psycho did for showers and what Misery did for people who fantasized about dating Kathy Bates.

Mikko said...

Just signed up to leave future posts. Unsure if you received my previous comment. I pray that I do not repeat myself, mistakenly.

I know that I will not be getting World Peace, again, this year for Christmas. I keep it on my list every year. I am always hopeful and the world is always a better place with more HOPE in it.

Greetings from Chicago! Thinking about going out and settling some recent cravings of huge cocktail shrimp and brie tonight. I am having some crazy chemistry going on in my brain tonight.

I do have a Christmas wish, though. I am hopeful to find a new "cover" to my favorite pot. I have an idea where to look specifically, but I know I won't find it in a Crate and Barrel anytime soon. Here's looking towards an adventurous roadtrip in the coming New Year. CHEERS!