Friday I had a day off from work. My only day off before Thursday, when I'll be down in DC for MAL. I got up early and did some chores here around the house, checked email, went into Doylestown and bought some cigars, had coffee with Bucky, came home, made dinner for my father, watched some television, and went to bed.
Coffee with Bucky?
Yeah Bucky and I did have coffee.
We met up at Starbucks in Chalfont. Talked for a few hours, and then I drove him home. Once again, there was a lingering handshake, and I also reached over and put my hand on his back. He reciprocated with a hand on my back.
Then he suggested we get together for dinner sometime and got out of my Jeep and headed into his house.
I was pretty elated all the way home.
I am definitely liking that Bucky guy. Whether he's gay or straight or neither or both, I'm cool. I like the boy. In ways other than That Way it turns out.
I went to sleep last night thinking of Bucky, and when Faithful Companion woke me up in the middle of the night because he needed a walk, I had trouble getting back to sleep. Thinking about Bucky.
As is often the case, I have an odd clarity in the middle of the night, between sleep and sleep. And I realized just what was up with Bucky.
I am a Top. From time to time, the Universe entrusts to me for safekeeping certain boys. I offer them growth, healing, and holding. It's not about me and what I want. Granted, the Universe has bestowed upon me certain gifts. But with gifts come responsibilities. From those to whom much has been given, much will be expected. (That's the Parable Of The Talents.)
When I first saw Bucky, I wanted to throw him in a sling, restrain him, and plow him for all eternity or until I was spent completely. (And odds favor the former over the latter. Dang but that boy has an effect on me.)
But that's not the way of things. I don't get what I want. It's my portion to give of myself.
With Bucky, I have my work cut out for me.
And when the job is done, like all boys, they head out into the world on their own, flying away like birds in autumn or wolf cubs leaving the den.
And it's my lot in life and it's not going to be otherwise and I'm sure not complaining. There are, of course, other possibilities for relationships. In addition to being a Top, I could also be a Master, and have a slave of my own. (Think: backrubs on demand whenever I want!) And, despite the estimation of the august and esteemed Roadkill, perhaps something along the lines of an egalitarian relationship. Or all three. Or two out of three. After all, you can own a horse, a car, and a lawnmower and that works out okay.)
I didn't see it at first. Blinded by my desire to wreck his hole, bury his face in my asscrack, stuff my cock down his throat and fill up his belly with my piss, chain him down and beat his ass till he's sobbing uncontrollably, keep him hooded and confined in my cage for so long that he's a dumb drooling animal... (Here you were thinking I was all high-minded and such and forgot that I'm a big ol' Evil Sadist!)
So I'm there for Bucky. He needs to talk, I'll listen. He has questions, I'll help him find some answers. And you better believe that if he needs someone to hold him tight, I'm the guy to do it. It's what I do. Kinda like Batman. Only no Bat Signal. Sometimes I could sure use a Bat Signal.
So when I get back from MAL, Bucky and I, as we talked about, will get together for dinner. I have in mind a vietnamese restaurant I found over by Montgomery County Community College. I'll introduce Bucky to pho. The boy is having a tough time. He's looking for a job and the economy is really bad right now. And it's made more difficult given that he has a DUI that has him not driving until November. I'll find a way to let him know that it's tough right now, but whatever the situation, he needs find his way through. And that I'm in his corner.