Friday, January 04, 2008

Don't Tell The Baron

Last night, as I drove home through the silent streets of Newtown, Pennsylvania, I was squealing with glee: Obama came in first in New Hampshire. What a momentous night in american political history! An African-American man wins lily-white Iowa. How would a nineteen year old pro-jihadist in Syria greet the news that a man named Barak Obama has become the President of the United States of America? An Obama presidency would truly be healing we need. (Heh. The built-in spell check here on Blogger doesn't recognize the words "Barak" or "Obama," although "Hillary" comes up without the red underscore.) Every time I've heard the man speak, I'm nodding along in agreement. The man has a depth and an authenticity I've long since stopped looking for in politicians, even those I admire.

All but lost in my reveries and about half way home, my cellie explodes. It's the Baron.

Uh oh.

I couldn't deal.

I let it go to voice mail.

I couldn't make the transition to dispassionate listener quickly enough.

I listened to the message. Sure enough, the Baron was broiling with rage about the outcome of the Iowa caucuses. The Baron, you see, is way Way WAY for Hillary.

And not without good reason.

Like all of us, the Baron has suffered terribly through the past seven years of having George W. Bush in the White House. The Baron will reel off the names for you: George McGovern, Walter Mondale, Michael Dukakis, John Kerry. The predilection the Democrats have for choosing nincompoops who just scream out Will Never Be President as their nominees. Please God, pleads the Baron, not this year. Please not this year. The country won't survive four more years under Republican rule.

Hillary, the Baron feels, strongly, is the only horse in the game who can meet and overcome the vicious attacks from the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy to come. Because she's just as vicious as they are. Oh. And there's the fact that she just happens to be married to one of the greatest political minds of the past generation.

So for the Baron, it's Hillary or Oblivion.

When I point out that Hillary has a national 42% negative rating across the board--that is to say, that 42% of the country, Republicans and Democrats and Independents, won't vote for Hillary under any circumstances because they hate her guts--and ask from which of the states of the Old Confederacy or the West necessary to put her over the top in the electoral college can she reasonably hope to win, the Baron is dismissive.

The Baron was outraged at the whole Oprah endorsement. "How stupid can those commentators be? Those people came out to see Oprah cuz they watch her on television sitting on their decrepit sofas eating their Hostess Sno-Balls or Ring-Dings or whatever! They don't vote!"

Thus far, I've been able to hide behind the overall strength of the Democrat line-up. "Any of them would be a great candidate and a great president, but on the Republican side, they're all a bunch of non-starters." And, of course, pointing to my early endorsement of Bill Richardson. (Who would make a great President.) "Yeah," replies the Baron, "Richardson would make a good Secretary of State or Vice President to President Hillary Clinton."

But it's only January. And there's a long way to go until November.

O! The suspense!

Will the Baron uncover my sentiments? Will he ever forgive me? Will he talk to me again?

If it goes down the way the Baron predicts and Someone-Other-Than-Hillary wins the Democratic nomination and goes on to defeat in November, I will definitely feel like it's All My Fault and have to do some serious penance.

Oy.

There are Serious Issues at stake in this here election.

2 comments:

'bastian said...

Obama is the first person in a long time that I won't feel is a lesser of evils choice when I vote for him. And I wouldn't vote for Hillary if you paid me.

Well maybe for 6 figures. (That's a boy's principle for ya!)

john said...

Call me jaded, but i just hope whoever wins can string together a ten word sentence and deliver it without muffing a word, and that he/she will not sound like a condescending school marm talking to a particularly dense class. Obama can do this. Hillary can't.