First anxiety attack of this endeavor! Right there in the middle of Ho(t)me(n) Depot! All of a sudden I just thought, "Are you crazy? Going back to college? That'll never work!"
It didn't even slow me down much, little less give me pause. I don't know that it's about the wisdom of my plans or the lack thereof, but it's more about what a huge deal this is. I've left one place where I was comfortable and secure and headed off into the unknown before in my life--when I went to college, when I moved to Philadelphia after college, when I moved to NYC from Philadelphia, when I left NYC to come back here five years ago--and I took all of those in stride. But adventures of this are not without some degree of self-doubt.
Largely this wee little anxiety attack evaporated when it was replaced by another thought: it will all begin with me driving across the country.
This is something I've wanted to do since I was in high school, when I first read Kerouac's On The Road. I've always loved road trips, setting off, music cued, a full tank of gas.
I don't move particularly fast. I rarely can resist a sign indicating there's a Starbucks or some quirkily named diner at the next exit. In a pinch I'll grab fast food for lunch, but I much prefer to go riding around some small town somewhere looking for a local sandwich shop. And, or course, I always stop for barbecue. And once I get west of the Mississippi, I'll be hoping for a nice steakhouse for dinner.
And this will be my first trip aided by the Google Maps feature on my Blackberry. I only just discovered the possibilities when I was in California back in June, there you are, through the wonders of GPS, a little blue dot moving your way along the map.
And a wee bit less to worry about since I'll have my route all mapped out for me. And that will mean it will just be pure driving, clearing my head, leaving me free to enjoy the passing scenery of forests and fields and climbing up one side of the Rockies and down the other.