The Hanky Code

I think the Hanky Code is the most brilliant invention of the 20th Century. (Interestingly, I've heard that Albert Einstein felt that the most brilliant invention of the 20th Century was compound interest.) Beyond having dress codes for leather bars, there ought to be mandatory handkerchiefs worn by patrons. I wouldn't at all mind bellying up to the bar next to someone in flipflops and a puce v-neck marino wool sweater if his back pocket announced that he was into fisting. I'm not an expert, and there are plenty of places on the internet that offer a complete and detailed roster, and I remember reading one of Lolita's columns (www.leatherpage.com) where she made a pitch for an addition for Mommie Play hankies. The roster is growing all the time.

Here are the basics, off the top of my head:

Color - - - Left Pocket - - - Right Pocket
Black - - - S/M Top - - - S/M bottom
Navy Blue - - - Likes to fuck - - - Likes to get fucked
Yellow - - - Pisser - - - Pissed Upon
Red - - - Fister - - - Fistee
Hunter Green - - Daddy - - - Boy
Gray - - - Bondage Top - - - Bondage bottom
Brown - - - Shitter - - - Shat upon
Orange - - - Up for anything - - Nothing right now
Robins Egg Blue - - 69 - - - 69
White Wants a blow job - - - Wants to give a blow job

And so on. Some of them seem sort of unnecessary. I mean, who doesn't want a blow job? And never in my experience have I run across anyone flagging Orange Right. And more than a few bondage Tops I know simply have a coil of rope in their left pocket. Sadly, there's no hanky code for either whipping or for flogging. I guess wearing a flogger or a whip works alright, although there really exists no good way to secure a whip or a flogger to your belt. Believe me on that, as I've spent a night crawling around on the floor of the Dugout to retrieve a signal whip. But is it fair that tit torture gets its own color (fuscia I believe, although you'd have to special order a fuscia bandana, I bet) but flogging doesn't? Oh, and wearing a hanky tucked into the back of your pants dead center means that you're versatile. Or looking for a game of pick-up flag football. And of course, given the dim lighting in bars, it sometimes requires flying off after someone in hot pursuit in the hopes that their meanderings will take them under a spot light. And black is something I've only seen worn on the left. And I guess for good reason: "S/M" covers a lot of territory, from flogging to electro play to dog training to (I guess) sissy maid. Although the Top who's flagging left probably has a good idea what he wants to convey, most bottoms probably would not want to open themselves up to spending the next twenty-four hours in heels and a bustier serving Cosmos to some Top, unless that was exactly what they were after.

So the hanky code is not without its flaws. But it's so damn hot. I used to see a couple at the super market when I lived in the West Villlage. One would be wearing gray right, and the other one gray left. Or some other color, depending, I liked to imagine, on what they had gotten up to the night before. I still occasionally jerk off thinking about a personable couple I chatted up last year at Santa Saturday in New Hope. One guy, older, well built, shaved head; the other guy, in his twenties, slim and muscular, looking great in his cowboy hat. At one point, they turned around, and I saw that Shaved Head was flagging red left and that Cowboy Hat was flagging red right. I might as well have been watching them go at it in a sling. Total turn on. Whatever the case, I just think that there's something so hot about wearing your sexual predilections on your butt for alll the world to see. "Hello, World! I'm a piss pig!" Too, it's such a great device for an opener. "Like what you're flagging tonight" and you're on your way. And, absent any cue about what my fellow leatherbar patron is looking for, I basically look him over, and decide whether he's physically appealing to me, and what's more, whether he's so physically appealing that I just have to go over, chat him up, make small talk, and finally get around to asking him, "So what do you like?", and risk hearing, "Sissy maid scenes, Sir!" A man flagging yellow right is always going to get my attention, and probably the next time I have to piss, he's going to have a nice warm beer bottle pressed into his hands when I emerge from the restroom. (Especially in this holiday season, I look for opportunities to spread a little joy.)

Of course, wallet chains, arm bands, and keys are also Top/bottom indicators. I usually have my heavy duty wallet chain on the left (which is inconvenient, as I'm right handed, and I had to switch that when I decided to incorporate that into flagging). Lately, I've been keeping my keys on the right, since I'm going through this 'exploring my submissive urges thing,' I want to indicate that you've got a chance of taking me down.