Gay Sex in the City: A Quiz
Which Sex in the City character do you most resemble?
My knowledge of html is far to rudementary to put together a form with buttons and a tabulation function. If anyone would like to help me out there, just let me know. But, hope you enjoy taking the quiz.


At a gallery opening you attend, you meet a very hot man and take him home. Upon waking up the next morning you...

1. Explain that you have to get to work. When he suggests the two of you call in sick and spend the day together, you decide that anyone who has that kind of a work ethic is not someone you want to see again, so you aren’t going to be calling him any time soon.
   
2. Think back on all the hook-ups that seemed to result from the gallery opening. You remember what Freud said about sublimating libido, and you ask yourself, "Are we no longer sublimating anything? Have has everything just become another way to facilitate sex?"
   
3. Find out what he does, how much money he has, where he grew up, and what his parents do, how he feels about monogamous relationships, and whether he would ever want to adopt children.
   
4. Tell him you're out of coffee but there's a bodega on the corner where he can pick up a cup. Get him out of there. Next!
   

You attend a dinner party at the home of an older, well respected, cultivated, successful, and mild mannered man of your acquaintance. While using the bathroom, you can't help but notice that he has an anal douche attachment in his shower stall. You...

1. Make a mental note to take yours down because your sister and her children are going to be visiting this weekend.
   
2. Realize that almost every bathroom you've seen has an anal douche attachment hanging in the shower. Does this represent an advancement in hygiene? Is it now somehow 'mandatory' to have an anal douche? You can’t stop thinking about this and you call a friend and ask, "Has anal douching become the equivalent of brushing your teeth?"
   
3. Decide that you should probably get one, too. Consider having another bathroom built in your apartment that will be used exclusively by you.
   
4. Move your host up a notch in terms of your respect for him and realize that he now has enough points that you'll fuck him.
   

While attending a birthday get-together for a friend at a swanky new bar, the bar back is flirting with you shamelessly. You...

1. Tell him that if he persists, you’ll report him to the management, but later decide you should have at least given the poor guy your number.
   
2. Take his number, and ask the people you’re with at the bar, "So is sex the great equalize, bringing together minimum wage earners with captains of industry wherever and whenever?"
   
3. Decline firmly but politely, because you’re not going to be dating a bar back any time soon, but keep the note he scrawled on a cocktail napkin saying "Damn! You’re a hottie!" on your bedside table for weeks.
   
4. Fuck him in the liquor room, freshen up in the bathroom, and rejoin the party.
   

You invite an old friend from college to dinner so you can meet his new boyfriend that he's wild about. The boyfriend makes a pass at you. You...

1. Wreck the evening by telling your friend what happened, resulting in him not talking to you for months.
   
2. Convene a lunch the next day with your friends, describe what happened, and ask, "Where do the obligations of friendship begin and end? Are there truly no rules in love and war?"
   
3. Over dinner, ask your college chum if he ever hears from Bennet anymore, Bennet being an Ex that your friend dumped when he found out that was unable to leave the house without cheating on him. Remind your friend how finding out that Bennet was such a tramp took him by surprise and he never saw it coming because he was so head over heels in love with the guy.
   
4. After dinner, say, “Well it's been great getting together with you guys. Now let's have a three-way!"
   

Someone you dated weeks ago calls and tells you he tested positive for syphilis. You...

1. Make an appointment with your doctor, get tested and treated if necessary.
   
2. Are amazed at how nonchalant the guy is about it. You go to see your doctor and ask him, "Are treatable sexually transmitted diseases nothing to worry about? Are they just a routine occupational hazard of sex?”
   
3. Freak out. For weeks, you ask every guy that offers to buy you a drink when the last time was he was tested.
   
4. Celebrate your negative test result by going down on the counselor at the testing center.
   
   
   
   You realize that everyone you know has been invited to attend and is eagerly looking forward to a private sex party, but you haven't received an invitation. You...
   
   
   
   
   1. Write it off as not something you'd be interested in anyway, but drop into a depression wondering if this means that you’ll probably never have sex again.
      
   2. Feel compelled to talk it over with the first person you run across, in this case, you’re personal trainer, and ask him, "Is the sex party phenomenon just an attempt to draw the same lines between the cool people and the uncool people that made junior high school so awful?"
      
   3. Feel satisfied that you’re not considered to be the kind of guy that would go to a sex party. But grill everyone you know who goes to sex parties about what they're like, what goes on, who goes, and what is considered to be proper sex party etiquette.
      
   4. Show up anyway and wind up humiliating yourself by getting the night wrong and barging in and making a scene at a dinner party your host is throwing for his boss. Weep in the cab on the way home. Console yourself by inviting the cab driver upstairs.
      
   
   
   During a hot and heavy exchange in an Internet chat room, a crucial piece of information from Hot4Cock makes you realize that you are talking to an allegedly straight, married co-worker. You...
   
   
   
   1. Type, "Peter, how are Karen and the kids?"
      
   2. Do a posting to your blog where you ask, "Has the Internet made our deepest sexual fantasies part of the public domain? Have the barriers between fantasy and reality blurred"
      
   3. Shut down your computer immediately and rack your brains wondering if you said anything that would let him know that you were you and he'd know you cruise internet chat rooms.
      
   4. Send him a pic of somebody else saying it’s you and invite him over.
      
   
   
   You pick up an incredibly hunky guy at the gym, bring him home, and discover that he is a female to male transsexual, bringing you into contact with vagina for the first time since high school. You...
   
   
   
   
   1. Are fascinated, asking him a battery of questions (What was it like? Do you take hormones? How have your parents dealt with this?) until he gets bored and leaves.
      
   2. Sit on your fire escape smoking a cigarette after you went to bed with him, stare out into space, and ask no one in particular, "How important is a penis? Does having seventeen inch biceps, a fifty-two inch chest, and quads like phone poles make it fine to have a zero inch penis?"
      
   3. Develop a sudden headache to get rid of him. Remind yourself that this is exactly the reason why it’s not okay to pick up men at the gym.
      
   4. After you fucked him, tell him you want to see him again, and soon, and often.
      
   
   
   A guy you dated and dumped is spreading the outrageous lie that he dumped you because he was weirded out by your wanting to do a wild scat scene with him. Everybody's talking about you. Strangers are pointing at you in bars. You...
   
   
   
   
   1. Call up the guy and threaten to take out a full page ad in the local gay party paper letting the world know about his Crystal problem and his four inch dick if he doesn't desist immediately and wait patiently for it all to blow over.
      
   2. Ask the elderly woman sitting next to you on the bus, “Has it gotten so bad that in addition to pre-nuptial agreements we also need pre-dating agreements? Have the most time-tested rules of sexual engagement broken down?"
      
   3. Track him down. Corner him in public. Scream at him. Don't leave your apartment for the next ten months.
      
   4. Revel in the notoriety, and make sure everyone knows, "The list doesn't stop there. It goes on and on and on."
      
   
   
   Your new boyfriend, who seems really wonderful, plays on a gay rugby team. You have a ball watching him play and rooting for his team. Then you learn that all the guys on the team get together after they win for what starts as a circle jerk and goes on from there. You...
   
   
   
   
   1. Tell him it’s either you or the team.
      
   2. You lie back on your bed, stare at the ceiling, and ask the cracks in the plaster, "But isn't all sex a contact sport, only it’s just not clear who wins or loses because nobody is keeping score?"
      
   3. Decide to ignore the situation because he’s a hot guy and totally A List.
      
   4. Hire a personal coach to get you ready for trying out for the team.
      
   
   
   Now count up the number of times you answered 1, 2, 3, or 4. Figure out which number came up the most.
   
   If it was 1: You're nobody's fool. You're Miranda!
   If it was 2: See you tomorrow for lunch, Carrie!
   If it was 3: You're Charlotte, and you know the rules!
   If it was 4: You're Samantha, but you knew that already, didn't you?
   
   

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