Staffano just made a really interesting comment. Staffano (by way of back story) is about 23 years old. He's bright, articulate, went to an Ivy League school. He has a boyfriend, but if he didn't, I could picture him hanging out at XL or g or someplace like that. So when he first moved to the city, Staffano worked as a bar back at The Works, this neighborhood place on the Upper West Side. Staffano told me that I reminded him of a guy who was the bouncer at the Works, a Russian opera singer. Bouncer and I, according to Staffano, are pretty much off his radar. He would probably not be approaching either one of us if he saw us in a bar. "But," he said, "he's such a nice guy!" (referring to the Bouncer, and, by implication, me). He went on to say that guys his own age can often be shallow and self-involved and he really doesn't want to be around them much.

I get what he's saying. He didn't come right out and say "Leathermen" or whatever, but that, I think, was the general drift. And I guess I can see where I would come off as Mr. Throw You Over the Pool Table Plow You Into Next Week And Leave While You're Cleaning Up In The Bathroom. But, in fact, I am a pretty nice guy. I'm much more likely to ask you to go have coffee with me than I am to do the pool table thing. Most Leathermen I know are hard core romantics, with an incredible capacity to fall in love. And that's what it's all about.

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