I, Sash Queen

I know a guy who is currently titled. In the Leather world, that means that he entered a contest, (like, the Mr. Whippany Falls Leather contest) and won. So, for a year, he gets to wear a sash (well, actually, he can always wear it, as he'll always be Mr. Whippany Falls Leather 2002, joining Mr. Whippany Falls Leather 2001, Mr. Whippany Falls Leather 2000, etc.). And most contests are feeder contests, so the winner gets to go and compete in some larger contest, possibly becoming Mr. Greater Whippany Area and Chamooga Mills Leather.

The people I know tend to fall evenly into two groups: people who compete in these contests and wear their sashes, and people who view contests and sashes with amusement if not disdain.

A few years ago, while driving down to MAL, I called a friend of mine (heterosexual married woman) to chat. She asked where I was headed, and I did my best to describe it. She started laughing and said, "You're going to a beauty pageant!" And it kind of is that. I mean, in lieu of a swimsuit competition, there's a jock strap competition. So, I can see myself smirking with the amusement and disdain camp.

On the other hand, the guys I know who have been sashed are universally good guys, likeable, sincere, well-intentioned, and easy on the eyes. They use their position to forward some cause or other. Michael Marino, Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 2001, raised over $10,000 for charity. Walt Weis, Mr. Lure 2002, started a phenomenal organization called Teens Prepared for Life. So, y'know, nothing wrong with that. In fact, I'd say there's a lot to admire.

So this titled friend of mine emailed me recently, and said that things were getting busy with him as he was getting ready for this year's iteration of the contest he won last year. And then he added, "You really should consider running."

Ahem.

I should?

Not like I haven't thought about it. Not like I haven't framed a fantasy scenario in my head already and not told anyone about it because they might steal it. And I think about what my buddy Piss Rick once said regarding contests. Rick was the guy that when he was seventeen years old read somewhere that the Mineshaft was going to close. He didn't know what the Mineshaft was, and the article didn't explain, but he just knew that he had to get there before it went away. Anyway, he said that as someone who had been on the scene for all of his adult life, he had yet to see one familiar face in any of the contests he had ever attended.

But fundamentally, I'm not a very charismatic person. I've done my best to overcome my childhood shyness, which was incredibly crippling early on in my life, but it's still with me, and as a result, I think I come off as cold and stand-offish. A lot of people have told me that when they first met me, they didn't like me. Only after they got to know me somewhat did they realize that whatever bad first impression they had of me was mistaken. And I don't know that a liability like that would serve me well when I have all of forty-five seconds to make a good impression on some panel of judges. Too, your year as a title holder takes up a lot of your time, and I'm already complaining often that time is a thing I don't seem to have a lot of to spare. (I have a weakness for the affectation of using 'too' to introduce a sentence.)

My dear friend Baron von Philadelphia would be over-joyed, and would immediately spring to work as my manager. He's a frustrated brand manager, frustrated because he has no brand to manage, and would jump at the chance to make me his brand. I, for one, would love to have handlers. Although I don't know that having a promoter is a common thing for people in leather contests.

Still, something to think about.

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