Reading JOCKOHOMO this morning, I followed a few links on his page to find sites maintained by these sweet looking hotties. No sooner do I click on 'Add to Favorites' than I read a little bit into each site and realize that these guys are straight. I felt so cheated. At least I still have Jocko. He's a hottie, and he's not straight.

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Audblog is quite the rage all of a sudden, showing up on Leather Edge's site and several others. Don't look for any audblogs any time soon here on SingleTails. I cringe when I hear my voice leaving a reminder message on my answering machine. Imagine lying at the bottom of a small, algae choked pond and hearing someone trying to get a '68 Buick to turn over. That would be a fair approximation. The only audible 'thing' I'd be interested in posting would be one of my favorite sounds in the whole world: a whip cracking.

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Going to the gym again tonight. As these are the initial days, I'm very enthused. Nah. That's not true. Overall, I enjoy the experience of working out. What gets me down is when I struggle for months and months on end to get my weight up to my dream of 195, and after weeks of being stalled out at 188, I jump on the scale and I'm back to 181.

"Scuse me, Buddy, could you help me out here? I'm gonna lay on the floor, and I'd like you to take that 80 pound dumbell and drop it on my head, okay?"

But maybe this time will be different. Because of my lack of health insurance, I am currently on neither my thyroid medication nor Welbutrin. Both of these are speed. Or speeder uppers of my metabolism at any rate. (A bad situation of not too distant memory: not too long after dosing myself, I obliged a piss pig. He's in recovery for Crystal Meth problems, and not too long after he drank from my tap, he started to get the vague and mysterious feeling that he had done a bump. I apologized profusely, and I'm more careful about that now. But, that sort of drove home the fact that those pharmaceuticals essentially are variations on the theme of speed.)

Maybe this time will be different. This time I will hit and surpass 195. Maybe I'll finally be Big, without the benefit of either genes or performance enhancing drugs.

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