There is a wonderful scene in 'High Fidelity' where Nicolas Cage('s character) talks over love life problems with Bruce Springsteen.

I'm sort of feeling that way tonight. I'd like to hash things through with the Boss.

Snippet from the session with my therapist last Tuesday: "Okay. Okay I'll say it out loud. I want a boyfriend. There. I said it out loud."

Could this have something to do wiith the fact that I've been spending time with Special Guy lately? Uh, yeah.

That was kind of the wrap up of therapy. I was complaining that I didn't have anyone to go to the movies with. And worse, through work I have tickets to a production of Moliere's Don Juan at the Lucille Lortel theater. I had sort of been stressing about this. I had two tickets. I couldn't go solo. Who would I want to go with? Who would appreciate a play that was about the conflict of flesh and spirit as that is often played out in a context informed by Catholic moral theology? My therapist suggested, "How about Special Guy?"

Oh. Right. Perfect.

Dammit. This is New York City. There are almost nine million people in this town. If ten percent of them are gay, that means there are around 850,000 homos. If half are lesbians, then I'm left with 425,000 gay men. Surely, out of that vast number (almost one-third of the population of Fort Lauderdale, mind you), there must be one other one that has that combination of intellect, spirit, and animal sensuality that I found in Special Guy. It it statistically impossible that he's the only one.

Well. Then again. I know of one other. That would be Schlitz. Whatever happened to Schlitz, you might ask? Schlitz has a boyfriend. His boyfriend is very hot looking. But he has that affect that drives me nuts. Ask boyfriend a question, say, "Have you seen the Matthew Barney show at the Guggenheim?" and it's like you asked him to account for his whereabouts on the night of a gruesome murder. Or you've just intruded upon his grief. Or (more correctly), you're calling at an inopportune time and he's doing his best to be courteous until he can hustle you out the door.

Okay okay okay. If he wasn't dating Schlitz, I'd be making a play for him. Possibly. Although he doesn't seem to be much of a serious player, so I'd probably look right through him until given an indication otherwise. And did I mention he works for a perfume company? Would you date someone who worked for a perfume company? I try not to think so much about him falling into a vat of the reeking stuff and going under for the third time whilst I dangle a lifeline slightly out of reach when I run into he and Schlitz.

It could be worse. Schlitz could be dating Special Guy.

---