Monday, July 19, 2004

Be Zippy and Happy and Snappy!

I'll give a million dollars to any reader who can identify the... uh... personality who used to give that advice. Or, y'know, lets make it an Iced Venti three-pump cinnamon quad easy ice venti latte at Starbucks.

Anyway. Zippy and happy and snappy is what I'll need to be tomorrow, as I'll be giving my presentation on the gentle art of sanding to two new guys in the sanding department. I can not imagine that they'll be an enthusiastic audience, especially as I'll be doing that when they expect to be eating lunch.

What dogs have I unleashed? Ever'buddy at work--the powers what be anyway--are just so blown away with my abilities as a presenter. And that's cool. I'll lap that up like a kitten after milk. But this hare-brained idea for me to give my presentation to everybody in the shop? No. If I were them, I'd hate me. Suck up. Brown noser. Teacher's pet. Tomorrow it's just these two new guys. In weeks to come, it's the whole damn crowd.


Speaking of work, today I had an opportunity to make a return to the House of the Tattooed Muscled Beasts. Alas, none of the TMBs seemed to be around. They were all involved in digging the pool and building the rebar frame, and I guess that's all done. Tragically, the truly awful homeowners were about. I passed the time by keeping score of their Serious Design Errors. ("Ooooh, that light fixture is right out of Dracula's castle. 20 points!" "Uh oh. Another Eighties vintage brass-and-glass doorknob gracing an otherwise chrome plated and steel bathroom. 10 points!") And, Mr. and Mrs. Awful did their best to slip in lots of non-spec changes after the stuff was installed--a huge no-no--thinking that my accomplice and I were witless peons.


And what's become of my Nightingale? Since January, the man has lost 100 pounds. Although Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson would be thrilled at this incredible demonstration of commitment and will power, I, for one, am appauled. Where is the hunka-hunka-burnin' love that had my head swimming whenever he entered my field of vision? Who's this fortyish dumpy guy with the bad complexion? And, now that I'm not bowled over by his furry, firm, round physique, I'm noticing some unfortunate personality traits. For a straight guy, he's quite a drama queen. And if I have to hear about his plans for a tattoo (featuring initials of his wife and offspring entwined by flowering vines) one more time, I may just resort to damning with faint praise.


And, apparently, this will be a tough week for us in the Hardware Department. Lots of jobs spilling out of the spray room, and going out on the truck the next morning at 7:30 am. Meaning we'll need to be in at 5 or 6 am every day this week. Hate that.



I'll just focus my attention on Friday. As soon as the buzzer rings at 3:30, I'm bound for Newark Airport, there to catch a plane to SF. I'll be spending the weekend with Big. He's looking forward to showing off his boy at Dore Alley (not sure what I'm wearing, but it's not gonna be a lot), and I'm looking forward to making my Sir proud. And... AND... I managed to get the day off (without pay) on Monday, so I'll be spending Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night with my Sir. Not to mention only working four days next week.

So there you have it. A wee slice of life. Not one of my more inspired postings, but they can't all be.


Hoss said...

In case I forgot to say it before - have a wonderful time in Where I Used to Live. If you're at the Cove Cafe again, our picture from the night we got engaged is on the wall.

Just inside the front door, on the left, bottom row over a table against the wall. We're in Hawaii, he's in stripes, me in red. Yellow tablecloth. It'll be 9 years ago next month that he said "yes" and changed my life. If you see it would ya just wipe the ketchup off it for me?

girlfag said...

I kept googling for many permutations on zippy, happy and snappy. All I came up with was dopey. :-(