Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Desert, Mud, Speed

Whew! What a day!

Alpha and I arose at 4:30 am, and were on the road to Joshua Tree State (National?) Park. The goal was to get to Joshua Tree to see the sun rise, and we missed that. (Who knew that the sun would be up at 5:35?) However, watching the canyons fill up with sun was absolutely spectacular. Not much hiking was done because of The Ankle, but I did manage to scramble up to a perch on some rocks. If'n you happen to be in SoCal, don't miss Joshua Tree. Absolutely spectacular desert vistas.

Then, Alpha and I stopped at Starbucks in Pioneertown (is there anywhere Starbucks isn't?) and had a good heart to heart talk, mostly about the dynamics of the Dad/boy relationship. Alpha believes that the fundamental role of the Sir is to 'contain' the boy, to be a vessel for the boy, allowing him to explore, expand, experience within a safe framework. Love this idea. A lot.

Then back to the Dessert Bear (that's not a typo, that's my pet name for the place). It's a wee bit down at heel, a little rough around the edges, but the folks seem nice, the pool and the rooms are clean, and the hot tub beckons. I'm happy with the Dessert Bear. No sooner had we arrived then we turned around, and after a quick stop at Palm Springs' premiere purveyor of delectables, Liquor Deli, we were headed off to the Spa!

Y'see, there was a quid pro quo with me and Alpha. He balked when I suggested we get up at 4 am to see the sunrise at Joshua Tree (thereby beating the heat, which Alpha can't tolerate), and in return, I said I would treat him to a day at a spa. This was selfish in part, as I wanted to spend a day at a spa and didn't want to do that alone. But... Like... Whatever.

The spa Alpha found for us was Glen Ivy Spa, in Corona, California. (We got a spa, right here in Riverside County...) It was perfect. It wasn't too hoidy toidy. In fact, it was downright proletarian, to the extent that a spa can be proletarian. We took the waters with a heavily tattooed chulo and his girlfriend, and boisterous group of older African-American women, bunches of teenage girls, and other assorted lovers of all things spa. It was a nice group. Singletails gives Glen Ivy Spa the highest possible recommendation!

We started off with a mud bath. Way cool. Forget about the alleged benefits ("detoxifcation" or some such bunk). It's all about playing in the mud! As in slathering your entire body with the stuff. And then, you lie out in the sun and let the stuff dry. When it dries, you look like Boris Karloff as the Mummy. The other spa-goers think you're a laugh riot when you stagger over to the showers making all of those Boris-Karloff-as-the-Mummy noises! ("Errrrrg! Arrrrrrgh! Urrrrrmmm!") Only my stache was not slathered in mud.

Then it was time (lowering voice a few octaves) for facials. This dedicated Queer Eye fan has been preparing for his first facial since this time last year. Loved my facial. Loved Debbie, my dermatologue. We opted for the "Men's Sportive Facial," so we'd both be able to get laid again maybe if word gets out that we went to a spa and got facials.

Post facial, Alpha got a massage, and I got a wrap. First, I was slathered with apricot stuff, and that was showered off, and then I was slathered in Essential Oils. I opted for 'Vitality'. Sadly, a prime ingredient in Vitality is Eucalyptus, so I kept thinking of Vick's Vapor Rub from childhood. Well slathered, I was then wrapped up in sheets, while massage therapist woman massaged my face, scalp, and neck.

Verrrry sweet.

Then, we headed south, to drop Alpha off in San Diego. I believe I mentioned Alpha's fun fast car, a Mazda RX8. It's way fast, and way fun. How fast is it? Well, there we were doing 115 mph. Alas, the hunky California Highway Patrol Officer wasn't in a 'fun' mood, so he pulled us over and served Alpha with a summons. Apparently (funsters! take note!), going over 100 in California is an arrestable offense. As in, on go the cuffs and off you go to the pokey, leaving your out of town guest standing on the side of the highway.

We spent the rest of the trip driving at about the legal limit and concocting stories for Alpha to feed to the judge when he stands trial. ("It was my evil friend who kept screaming, 'Faster! Faster!!! Faster!!! Let's see how fast this tank can move!!!'")

Anyway, now I bid a fond farewell to Alpha, and head north to Palm Springs. The first leg of the journey has been spectacular. Tomorrow and Wednesday I'll be driving aimlessly around Palm Springs checking out the buildings by Frey and other mid-century gems, taking The Tram, and finding my way out to Idyllwild. (For the name alone...)

Big flies in to Ontario on Thursday, and the two of us will be staying at Sleaze Central for some art, architecture, and Sir/boy doin's in Los Angeleeees.

Don't think I'll encounter internet access before I get home on Sunday, so you'll just have to wait to hear of those hijinks.

Keep good thoughts for Alpha (and send some negative vibes to his enemies, the People of the State of California), as his September 1 court date approaches.


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