Another Year Of Breaking Balls

First up briefly... car trouble. Again. And I was hoping I had left that behind in 2005. Ah well. My power steering seems to have had a melt down of some kind. Right now, I'm waiting for the tow truck to take it in to the dealership. This means, alas, that I'm driving my stepmother's white Ford Taurus. Yesterday, when I took it into my gas station in Doylestown to fill up, the hot, inked cub who works there indicated the car and asked, "What the hell is this???" I laughed, explained my jeep problems. I'd be taking it there if I didn't have an extended care program at the dealership. They are scoundrels at the dealership.

Anyway, I got a call this week from a guy on my softball team. I had been thinking, and I believe I wrote here, that last year would be my final year with the Ballbreakers. I just didn't have fun last year. Everybody was grumpy. The evil Evil EVIL Big Apple Softball League has persisted in sticking us in a competitive league, where we lose all the time. And we went up against a team of hyper-competitive assholes who broke the leg--intentionally!!--of the guy who was calling me. And, our coach and his partner have moved to Las Vegas, where, I understand, you can play softball all year long. So no.

But the broken leg guy from my softball team, whose nickname is Filthy Whore, was calling with News. Y'see, they've paired the team down. Gotten rid of guys who don't seem to show up. Kept some of the best and the brightest. Looking for new guys (no experience necessary!) to sign on. We're going to the recreational, as opposed to the competitive, division. And it's going to be all about having fun. Because that's what all of us want. And, I might get to pitch. Or play any position on the field I want. Because it's about having fun. And if we win some games along the way, that's gravy.

Just the tone of Filthy Whore's voice had me ready to re-up for another year. I mean, he's had a tough year. It was a major break, it meant he couldn't work, and he couldn't even stay in his fourth floor walk-up apartment. And all because of this asshole on another team, who faced just about nothing in the way of reprimand from the League. So we hate the league.

Huh.

Huh.

Every Saturday, April through August, driving up to NYC...? Am I really up for that? Foregoing much else on weekends (like dating or trips down to the Bike Stop on Saturday nights...

Ah, but it's softball! Out there in the grassy field, the sun, the men, the crack of the bat. Maybe this will be the year that I get my act together at the plate!

We ought to have our first practice in March. As soon as it looks like a dry, warm Saturday.

Oh. One other thing before I close. I got an email from a guy who runs the leather store at the Bike Stop in Philadelphia. He was forwarding to me an email he received from somebody at Princeton University.

Ok. This is so cool.

Princeton is doing a production of Waiting For Godot. At some point in the play, they need to crack a whip. They obtained a whip, but nobody involved with the performance is able to make it crack. And they need somebody to show them how. And do I know of somebody? And they'll pay.

I am so in. I'm totally up for driving out to Princeton and spending an hour or so teaching budding thespians how to crack a whip. And, since I'm betting part of the problem is that they have a cheap, silly ass whip that they're trying to crack, maybe lending it to them. What fun! And maybe I'll get comped for the performance, too. And I love Waiting For Godot.

I love teaching. It goes with me being a natural exhibitionist. TES in NYC is having some big SM shindig this summer, and I was asked by someone on the program committee if I would be a presenter. You bet I would! I had a blast doing my chain bondage presentation at TESFest a couple of years ago.

And, to some degree, it burns my butt that GMSMA has never (ever) asked me to do a program for them. Or a workshop. Or even sit on a panel. All they ever wanted me to do was a job I was totally not cut out for: keeping the books. And lord knows that was a nightmare for all involved. Ah well, a prophet is without honor in his home town, right?

But, I'm all juiced up about the Princeton thing. (I'll be able to put on my resume that I taught at Princeton University! Yessss!!!) And the TES thing this summer. And you there... If you're interested in me doing a presentation for your humble (or august) group of pervy folks, I hope you'll think of me!

Gotta go. Towtruck will be here any minute.

---