The Grammy Awards!

Some notes...

There is like... Nothing going on with Kelly Clarkson, right?

Most of the duets don't work. But Maroon 5 and whoever that was seemed to do alright together.

I would totally do any member of U2 except Bono. What is Larry Mullen's workout routine? Who is their stylist?

Holy Sh*t! Look at Sly from Sly and the Family Stone!

Fun meme idea: If you were otherwise sexually oriented (e.g., if you're gay, then if you were straight... If you're straight, then if you were gay...), other than the sex part of it, who would you be otherwise sexually oriented with?

Oh. Gosh. Shocker. Once again, Rufus Wainright is nowhere in sight. I guess he just doesn't make any good music. That must be it, right?

Huh. I guess since most of the viewing audience wasn't alive during the Manson murders, it's okay for Paul to sing 'Helter Skelter' again.

Green Day is such a cool band.

Yo! Jessye Norman in da house! Best Dido evah!

I hate Christina Aguilera. She has two notes: the low one and the high one.

You watch CSI, right? That's the television show with the Dominatrix that's smarter than everybody else around her as a regularly occurring character. Next to Mr. Slave, Mistress Heather is my favorite fictional fellow kinkster.

Please God, don't let Paul McCartney win. We don't need that.

I hate the lapses in iTunes. I finally figured out what that '80s song was that I love so much: it's Don't Tell Me by Blancmange. And it's not on iTunes. And I'm also hot for Robert Deniro's Waiting by Bananarama. And it's not on iTunes. Makes me long for my days as a music pirate. (Arrrrrgh!)

Cool! Big & Rich! Big has that star quality thing going on, but Rich looks like he got to stay up late with the grownups.

Go John Legend! His backstory is really cool, too.

I didn't know Shhirley Horne died. Awwww...

Latifah! Give me body! She's from Newark, New Jersey, y'know!

Okay. Time to turn off the Grammys. I've got to get in some firewood before I head to bed.

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