Why Can't We Be Friends?

Y'know what irks me? When people make mention of close personal friends who happen to be celebrities.

The most egregious was when, years ago at one of the goofy political things I had to go to, a speaker actually spoke the words, "Just the other night on the phone, Stockard Channing said to me..." I forget what Stockard said, but for the benefit of my table, I completed the thought "I don't know how you got this number but if you ever call here again I'll have you arrested."

And then there's the guy from LA. Should you meet him, after about fifteen minutes of conversation, you're sure to learn that he's friends with Rita Moreno.

When Rita was over for dinner... When Rita and I were in London... It was so great having Rita there as my date...

Okay. Why does this get to me?

Today I think I figured it out.

The next time LA Guy mentions his friend Rita Moreno, if'n I have the guts, I'm gonna say, "So tell me, how does Rita make herself vulnerable to you? And how do you make yourself vulnerable to Rita?"

Because I think that's what friendship is all about. Vulnerability. Bearing your breast to someone and handing them the knife. No one can hurt you like a friend can. And no one can put the knife down and kiss your quivering pecs like a friend can. That's it in a nutshell. Absent vulnerability, it's just people using each other.

---