(Something I wrote t'other day at Starbucks. Enjoy!>
Technically, I'm a Baby boomer, albeit born on the cust. And if slacking is a generational experience, than technically I'm not one.
But I am, and I always have been, appauled by materialism, by conspicuous consumption. And, when I meet people who seem so driven, out to make a mint, to rise to the top of their professions like a comet lighting up the sky... I always think that somehow I didn't get that gene.
However, after considering the matter, I've come to the conclusion that this is a virtue rather than a vice. So now, I'm wondering, having embraced it, how can I do it well?
What does the Good Life look like for a slacker? And so, in no particular order...
Slacker Vacations
Forget about fabulous vacations with delux accommodations. For the most part, a slacker doesn't need to take a vacation because slackers live in cool places where there's already a lot to do. there's plenty to occupy you at home. But visiting friends who live in some other cool place makes a nice change.
Slacker Love
Mom: So thhis guy you've been dating for the past six months that's coming to your sister's wedding with you... what does he do for a living.
You: Hmmm... I'm not really sure.
Mom: ???
Slacker Threads
Clothes are practically disposable. Slackers buy at Old Navy. However, a few things in your closet that you really care about--basically works of art that your wear--that's cool.
Slacker Crib
Rent and share, baby! Rent and share. Talk to somebody with a mortgage and ask, 'Do you own the house, or does the house own you?' You wouldn't believe the work involved. There's always got to do something to the place. So much easier to just call the super. Dig? With the exception of books and music, there's not a lot of reason to have much stuff.
Slacker Work
It's means to an end. And the end had better be good. Like you get to see bands for free. Or you get to spend all your time outside. Or free coffee.
What if your job is fun? Careful! There's danger there. "Disengaged" is the usual slacker pose at work. If you're doing something fun, you risk compromising that. And you might get the soul sucked right out of you.
Slacker Eats
Hello, Burritos! Hello, Pho! Hello, Allou Mottor Gobi! Hello, Lasagna!
Don't go overboard with the foodie thing. Around the globe, people have devised healthy, nutritious, simple, flavorful things they eat every day. and in today's world, they're probably selling them for not a lot of money down the block from you. Mangia, Caro!
Slacker Ride
Stand clear of the closing doors! That's right: public transportation is way cool. Or something used. If it costs more than $1000 to fix it, get a new one. And run that one into the ground.
Slacker Hobbies
Slackers totally don't have hobbies. A hobby is a marketing device: you pay money and get the illusion that you have an interesting life. Who has time for that?
Slacker Retirement
Oh hell. I was having so much fun with this. Okay. How about this? Every year, try to get by on less and less. That way, when you're sixty-five, your monthly social security check will be like winning the lottery.
Slacker Toys
If you totally fall in love with something--a really cool watch, a vintage Indian, the kayak of your dreams, custom made boots... go for it. Don't feel bad. But you're not allowed if you know anybody else whho's got one. Or if you'll want everybody else to know you've got it. It's gotta be just for you.
Slacker Married With Children
Oh. Don't. Go. There.
You can't afford it.
Seriously.
It's so much work having a dog, and having a child is like Dog(10
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I guess maybe I've been reading too much Vice Magazine lately.
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