The plumbers are here! Yay!
And they're indefatiguable in their pursuit of Good Drainage For Me. Senior Plumber is reaming out the pipes from the septic tank end, and Junior Plumber is down in the crawlspace under the house coming at it from the opposite end. When they meet and kiss, I'll be able to flush and take a shower and brush my teeth and everything!
I've really gotta hand it to these guys. They're just being relentless. I was a little worried earlier when they dug up the septic tank out in the yard, since I'm convinced that's not where the problem is. But after the septic line was cleared out (more reaming), the toilet still wasn't flushing very well. (And by that I mean, water all over the bathroom floor.)
I was half expecting a "Well, I think that's all we'll be able to do" or something.
But no!
They uncapped the line down in the crawlspace and now the house is filled with these sounds of sucking and grinding.
And I'm totally beside myself with eager anticipation.
And I've learned my lesson: no more flushing gi-hugic fourteen inch dildos down the toilet! When they get old, just put them out in the trash.
Or maybe turn them into fetching lawn ornaments!
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Everyone knows that dildos clog up the septic system - well, at least every bottom knows it! Now, in the spirit of Martha Stewart, who finds all sorts of uses for spare household items, I suggest: 1) toy for the dog to play fetch; 2) a tool to beat around the lids of jars that are too tight, in order to loosen them up; 3) a tool to hit ice that is frozen on your car windshield (not recommended if the dildo is too stiff). I'm sure others can imagine additional uses.
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