Best Crazy Person Call Ever!

At work, not infrequently, we receive phone calls from people who are delusional. Things like, "Help! My upstairs neighbor is sending a beam down into my apartment!" I never know quite what to do with such people. If I sense that they are a danger to themselves or to others, there's a procedure for that, but most are fairly harmless in their delusions.

Best phone call ever came in today. A woman called because she was concerned that the guys at the pizza parlor she goes to--who were probably connected to the Mafia--were trying to force her into prostitution.

Pizza Parlor Customer: Hi! What's good today?
Pizza Guy: How about that lady sitting over there? You can have her for $50.

The woman wanted our office to 'take some action and put a stop to this,' but she mentioned that she was still going to eat there because she likes their pizza.

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