When the War is over, I think I'll miss the Iraqi Minister of Information. His reports--not taken seriously by anyone but the BBC--are outlandish and absurd to the point of being ridiculous. We all need a Minister of Information now and then, don't we?

This just in from the Singletails Minister of Information:

The weather today in New York City is sunny and warm. There is a gentle breeze blowing. Thousands of New Yorkers took the day off and spent it lounging in parks and on waterfront piers. Just look at the great tan the Minister of Information is sporting!

The Singletails Minister of Information has learned that the LURE has expanded, taking over most of the buildings on their block of West 13th Street and creating a sort of BDSM Disney Land. I'll see you there!

Who says you can't make money from the Internet? Our Minister of Information is pleased to report that Singletails has netted $70,000 last year from sail of merchandise such as pencils emblazoned with the name of 'Dixon' in honor of the fact that Singletails bursts forth on an unsuspecting world from Jersey City, New Jersey, the home of Dixon Pencils ($5.95 each), white cotton tee shirts, just like James Dean wore! ($34.95), empty water bottles guaranteed to have contained water consumed by whipping bottoms ($59.95), clothespins that you can use in your own safe, sane, and consensual scenes at home, just like those you read about on Singletails ($29.95 a pair).

I'm pleased with the progress I'm making at the gym, but the Singletails Minister of Information reports that I'm peeved that someone gave my cell phone number to Dolph Lundgren who won't stop calling and asking me how I attained my v-shaped back.

How was the Folsom Street East planning meeting last night? "Standing room only! Must find larger venue for planning meetings!" says the Singletails Minister of Information.

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