My Stalker

Okay. Starbucks today. I roll in and there's Farmer Guy! ('Member him? Queer. Hot. From SF. Moved back here, like me, at the death of a parent. Works to support himself by doing organic farming.) It's been a while since I've seen Farmer Guy. And as usual, he was an eyeful. Deeply tan from all that work out in the sun, wearing a wife beater and plaid shorts. We got our coffee drinks and repaired to the porch. And chatted up a storm. Catching up.

He said something like "great running into you," and I went off on a riff: "Well go figure! I'm here every day, monday through friday, from 4 pm to 6 pm. I would be so easy to stalk? Why do I not have a stalker? I'm such a creature of routine. I'm perfect for stalking."

Without looking at me, a slight smile on his lips, eyes fixed on the middle distance, Farmer Guy said, "Yeah. Calling ahead to Starbucks and asking if you were there. Carmelita would always give me the word. Usually you had fallen asleep reading your book when I got there. But then you wrecked the whole thing by asking if you wanted me to go to the movies. You can't stalk somebody who's asking you to go to the movies."

Right.

Right...

I asked him to go to thhe movies with me. He basically said that he was busy. As in always. And I took it as a not interested. For whatever reason.

So this is kooky. Farmer Guy was not only returning my keen interest, but was stalking me. But wanted to keep me at a distance.

And I get that.

We both live in thhis weird netherworld. We're spoken for, although not in a way we'd like. The future is indefinite. I do the same thing. Delighting in the company of the boys of summer at Starbucks, sucking face with guys at the Bike Stop even though I have an hour and a half drive to get home and I'll be doing that alone. Living your life in terms of "if only." I get that.

What a disaster it would be if the real thing cropped up.

Interesting.

Farmer Guy had to get going. I had to get to the gym. We shook hands goodbye out in front of Starbucks.

I had a great workout at the gym.

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