Pluck

I've got it!

Come to think of it, it's one of the qualities I admire most in myself. There's a line in a 10,000 Maniacs song, "through adventure we are not adventuresome," and I'm not like that.

How to define pluck?

Perhaps by example. Ah. Here's a good one.

Way back when, I guess I was around 23 years old, I was living in Philadelphia, and volunteering as a buddy to a guy living with HIV/AIDS. And the organization sponsored a bus trip down to Washington DC to see the AIDS Quilt on the Mall. My buddy wanted to go, and I went with him. The bus dropped us off, and we were told to meet back at the bus at 4:30. At 4:30, I was back at the bus, but my buddy wasn't. After fifteen minutes, I was worried, so I went off to look for him.

Now, you should never do that, right? You know what happens, as soon as you head off to look for someone, they show up. And that's what happened, because he was on the bus heading back to Philadelphia, and I missed it because I was off looking for him.

Okay. So there I am, stranded in Washington DC, and I had no money to get home. Like, ten dollars in my pocket.

Did I panic? Did I run around begging for a ride? Did I ask the nearest policeman--who would have sent me to Traveler's Aid and they would have hooked me up with a bus ticket then and there--for help? Nope. Because I have pluck.

What I did was head that night to the DC Eagle. And there, I met a marine. His name was Doug.

Y'see, when you land in a situation like this, say you're driving through rural West Virginia and your car breaks down, the thing not to do is lock your windows and be sane and reasonable about the whole thing. Because what's going down is the Universe is saying, "Man! Have I got an adventure planned for you!"

And my adventure was Doug.

I went home with Doug. And we had sex. He was a Top, which is pretty amazing when you think about it because all marines everywhere are total bottoms. So I told Doug my plight, and asked him if he'd drive me to the bus station tomorrow, so I could take a bus to Baltimore (how much could that be?) where my friend Ed lived, and Ed would doubtless lend me money to get back to Philadelphia. Doug said sure. And then, he burst into tears.

It turns out that Doug had what we used to call a lover. Another active duty marine. Doug's lover had recently tested HIV positive when the Marine Corp gave him his annual physical. And two days before, Doug had come home from work to find that his lover had hung himself down in the basement. Doug made a mistake, and called the military police. They came, took Doug away, and they also took away the sling that Doug and his lover had in the basement, and some of their sex toys.

So Doug, in the 48 hours before I met him, had lost the man he loved, and was probably soon to lose his career in the military, where he had planned to spend the rest of his life.

Now, at the age I was then, I was totally unprepared to be any help at all in helping someone in that situation. I had know idea what to say, what to offer. And, maybe that's because there's nothing to offer, But I sure didn't know that then.

The next day, Doug and I went back to the Quilt. As we were walking around, looking at the panels, we came upon one sewn with the image of a single white heron, it's head upraised and it's beak open. Doug explained to me that among the Chinese, it's a symbol of grief and mourning for your mate. Heron's mate for life, and won't take another mate when their mate dies. And they'll mourn the death by calling out for their lost mate. Doug totally broke down at this. There we stood, this big tough marine, balling his eyes out, while a skinny kid in an ACT UP tshirt held him.

That's an example of what I'm talking about. That's pluck. Disaster strikes, and you know deep down it means that you're about to have an experience that will change your life. Just keep your head together and your eyes open.

Now, as I discussed recently here, I'm the kind of person who, if someone had suggested to me that I take a one way trip to DC without the money to get back, I would have said no to that without having to think about it. But, again and again, I do something or other that will get me stranded, with only my own resources to rely on. (Of course I knew when I walked into the crowds that the bus was getting ready to leave!)

Life offers so few opportunities step off the beaten path. Sometimes you've got to help it along. Close your eyes, plunge into the underbrush, and "Oh gosh! Now I'm lost! What to do now?"

So, being plucky has meant I've had a pretty interesting life. If'n I were to learn that I had only a month to live, of course I'd be full of regret, after all, there are several adventure-inviting things on my list of things to do. I still haven't taken off two months and spent it driving across the country and back. But I know I'd take comfort in the fact that this facility of mine has brought me to a number of wonderful places.

Thank you, pluck.

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