Thursday, September 16, 2004

Have You Always Dreamed...

Sick Boy at work.

The one who greets new guys on their first job by asking them, "So if you found a dead babe, she just died, and her body was still warm, would you fuck her?"

And... you've gotta see this kid. He grew a beard in eighth grade. Hairy like a goat. He's about five foot three, but wears size twelve-and-a-half shoes. Huge feet. Right now he's got his head shaved and has a beard about a foot long. And crooked teeth.

Get the picture?

Kinda scary looking.

Okay. Really scary looking.

But he's a sweet kid. At least, he sure melted my heart with the dead babe thing.

Lately, he's been down on work. Calling in sick a lot. (I attribute this to the absence of my guiding hand at the sanding table.) Today was the first day he showed up all week.

He told me that yesterday, he got this thing in the mail. Addressed to him by name.

The opener was, "Have you always dreamed of being a model?"

It went on to to suggest that if your answer is 'yes,' then you call and make an appointment.

When Sick Boy told me about this, my immediate response was, "You're gonna call, right? I'll drive you."

So Sick Boy is gonna call and set up an appointment. I'm definitely going to go with him.

Chances are, it's some scam operation. When ever anyone walks in, they say "Yes! Omigosh! You are the one we've been looking for! I just got a phone call looking for someone exactly like you!!!" You have experience modeling, right? Oh, you don't? Darn. These people only want someone with experience. A portfolio. Oh well. But maybe... Y'know, since this is such a sure thing, we'd be willing to work with you, and cover most of the costs, if you'd chip in for materials. You'll get it back in the first ten minutes in front of the camera. Probably be about $150 if you've got it..."

So yeah. I wanna be there with Sick Boy when they try to put that line on him."


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