Monday, July 03, 2006

No Way! Way!

Another one!

What is going on with the younger generation?

I think the Religious Right was... uh... right. Will & Grace brings homos into American living rooms and it turns kids gay!



Compared to last summer, the crew hanging out on the porch of Starbucks in Doylestown leaves much to be desired. They just lack... charm. Most of my interactions are 'Hey how goes it' and I go back to my Times.

The one who heretofore grated on my nerves the most is an apparent human car wreck whom I've been referring to as Impulse Control Disorder Boy. He does things like break a placid afternoon by bellowing "Yo! Dude!" at the top of his lungs and go running out into traffic to accost somebody who apparently knows him slightly given the somewhat befuddled reaction. And then there's his wardrobe choices. Earlier in the Spring, he took to wearing about sixty bandanas tied around his shins. For days. And I was not alone in wondering if he took them off at night and put them all back on in the morning, or was just wearing the same pants for a week.

And he's there with his antics all the time, because somehow he's cobbled his act together enough to rent an apartment right over Starbucks.

Then there was the day that he sat down at my table, drunk on beer, and blah-blah-blahed for an hour straight without stopping. No respite. No hints taken.

So. I'm totally reconsidering all this now because guess what! Impulse Control Disorder Boy is queer!

I swear! He was in a surprisingly mellow mood today, and plopped himself down at my table, shared with about six other people. First, he showed us his yoga moves. And he's like... really good. And while boasting about his uncanny flexibility, he mentioned in an off hand way, "Yeah, the guys I bed are always amazed."

Say what?

"Yeah," he elaborated. "I do guys. None of my straight friends can believe it. Until I get them drunk and get down to business with them."

So am I now seeing--let's rechristen him, 'kay?--Nature Boy in a whole new light. Taught, lean little body, huge beautiful eyes, and a face that looks like he was sculpted from wood. Very Modigliani.

And... and... he's reeeeally flexible!

And, he lives Right Upstairs From Starbucks!

And he's not in high school.

Game on!

1 comment:

Lolita said...

Sounds like he needs some training...