"Attention PATH Train riders. Passengers are reminded that eating, drinking, and smoking are prohibited on our trains, on our platforms, and in our stations. Thank you for your cooperation. Passengers are also advised that due to adverse weather conditions three days ago, PATH trains are running on a modified schedule. Increased ridership due to poor road conditions notwithstanding, PATH trains are running when we damn well feel like it, and not a minute before. Thank you for riding PATH!"

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