You didn't like 300, huh? Didn't really get it? Couldn't quite understand what was going on? You were all like, "Oh! This is so violent!", huh?
Perhaps you're Homoerotically Challenged, a terrible condition afflicting many, leaving them unable to detect sexual tension between men, even when it hits them right in the face.
Fortunately for you, there's now a cure!
Six hundred pecs and
one thousand eight hundred abs
if you do the math.