About that 'nap' of mine. I just woke up. It's 7:00 a.m. That felt gooood. I think sleep is what I needed. So I've got some time to get stuff done before I meet up with Edge. Good. Pay bills, do some shopping, and who knows... maybe even vacuum.

I think I'll enter some of my notes from the various presentations I attended yesterday at TESFest yesterday. For your edification and delight.

• A good slave is not necessarily someone who is sexually submissive, although often this is the case. Rather, a slave is someone who feels that he has a lot to offer in terms of service, but feels that he needs to be managed.
  
• What makes a slave happy is to be given the opportunity to provide good service. Any slave will shine if just given the opportunity.
  
• At the outset, there is usually wide disconnect between what the slave candidate envisions as being his role (e.g., "I will be providing sexual service to my hot Master!") and what the Master envisions ("I will have my boots shined, the dishes, washed, and the bed made by my slave, and I'll get my coffee brought to me in bed at 7:00 a.m. sharp every morning without fail."). Therefore, the first task at had is exhaustive and concise role definition, as roles must be mutually understood.
  
• A social contract is a weak thing. A written contract is stronger, even if it is revised regularly. Writing it down means that you care. Signing your name to it means that you really care.
  
• Most slaves surveyed say that what they really are seeking is security. So, they need to know that this isn't going to go away. A contract that makes the slave insecure (e.g., where abandonment of the slave is the punishment for nearly every infraction) won't work. Rather, deal with punishment by indicating that "I won't abandon you, but there will be consequences."
  
• The scope of the Master's authority needs to be defined. The slave is not and should not be an automaton, and it is unrealistic to think that the Master will be controlling of every aspect of the slave's life.
  
• A slave has every right to question an order, but never his obligation to obey.
  
• It is verrrrrry difficult to get information out of someone who is submissive. They want to put a good face on things, and not trouble you, and want you to think well of them. Therefore, a Master needs to be patient and painstaking in getting information from the slave.
  
• Before preparing a contract, both the Master and slave should independently prepare a Statement of Desires. This will serve as the basis for negotiation of the slave contract.
  
• The Master should prepare a Household Policies and Procedures Manual. (Jack's runs to 18 pages long.) This enables the slave to know what is expected of him to do a good job. For example, does 'Do the laundry' mean that every time a pair of socks is used by the Master that it should be washed and returned to the sock drawer immediately, or is once a week sufficient?
  
• Initially, make contracts binding for a short period, say two or three months. Then, at the end of the contract period, both parties can renew as is, make some changes, or walk away honorably.
  
• In the contract, be clear about what's a dealbreaker and what's a problem to be resolved.
  
• With a new slave, Jack does an exercise he calls 'Find the Master.' He will blindfold the new slave, and put him or her in the middle of a large room. Then, he'll wander around until he's some distance from the slave. He'll give the order, "Find your Master." A true slave will instantly take on a look of anxiety as he searches blindly for the Master. A slave needs to know where the Master is. After the slave is unable to find the Master, Jack approaches, and clips a long leash (20 feet or so, used for leading horses) onto the slave's collar. Again he gives the order, 'Find your Master. Follow your leash.' This time, with less or no anxiety, the slave will follow the leash and find the Master. Note to Masters: Always let your slave know where you are, or the slave will be anxious. Anxiety is poison to a relationship.
  
• Don't set the slave up to fail.
  
• Don't trivialize your own orders. Give only as many orders as you will be able to explicitly follow up on with the slave.
  
• Slavery is not 'no control or choice,' slavery is 'limited control and choice,' but a slave should always be given some circumscribed autonomy.
  
• In the military, there are three levels of service: "Attend Me," means pay close attention to me, making sure that all my needs are met at all times, and anticipating what those needs will be; "Accompany Me," means follow basic protocol--opening doors and carrying bags and such--but I'm not going to be high maintenance right now; and "Wait" means be where I can find you, but wander around and go to the bathroom if you want.
  
• It's fine for a Master to love and respect a slave, but if a Master is 'in love' with a slave, then that's a problem. For a slave to be 'in love' with a Master is equally problematic.
  
  

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