Friday, May 09, 2003

And no. No word from severus. Which suddenly almost feels beside the point. I think I will go to Philadelphia. And surprise the Baron von Philadelphia. If he's planning on showing up at his own opening, that is.

Oh. And more good news. I am negative for HIV antibodies. And I'm negative for the clap.

Whenever that happens, I always feel that it's a small miracle. I can't claim to be as disciplined and scrupulous in this area of my life--or in any other for that matter. Not so much this time, but several times in the past, I really should have come up positive. But I haven't.

HIV is so fucked. Beyond the fact that so many wonderful people have died, and that so many people I love live complex lives on borrowed time, it throughs such a spanner into the works when it comes to love and intimacy between men. I mean, what is up with that?

Well, I'm whining. What I'm yearning for is pleasure and gratification without risk. And that has never ever ever been available since Adam was banished from Eden. There is no such thing as life without risk and uncertainty.

Ya live with it.


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