Biorhythms? Horoscope? Karma?

Well.

Went to the gym tonight. Not sure if it's because they installed funhouse mirrors or what, but a few times during my workout I caught a glimpse of myself, and I had the Body I Want: big and thick in some good places. Due to not feeling so well, I didn't make it to the gym after Monday last week, so effectively, that's seven days off. But, I didn't waste away to nothing, despite the fact that I wasn't eating much last week either. Quite the reverse, I saw Results.

So after the gym, on the PATH train, this very hot man sitting across from me took out a sketch book and started sketching me. I was doing my crossword puzzle. When I came up the steps at Grove Street, there he was. We talked. We went to his place. We had a nice little tussle. He's an artist. Goes to NYU Film School. Has a great dog. Rides a very powerful motorcycle. And has an amazing body. We exchanged numbers. Hope to be meeting up with him again sometime soon.

And then, I stopped into the Deli, and there was this hot young man who stopped in to buy a cigar. We chatted briefly on the street. He said he's seen me in the City. He asked what I was into and I said, "Whipping, flogging, bondage, piss, fisting." "Cigars?" he asked. "Yeah," I answered, "I can acccommodate that." "Cool," he said, "If you've got a cigar stuck in your mouth, I'm up for anything."

Cool indeed.

He got my number, too.

But here's what's really got my imagination taking a trip to a Coney Island of the mind. We'll call him Severus. He like pain. He wants to be a slave. We have been in touch with each other through email, IMing, and missed phone calls for weeks now. He's a Brit and he divides his time between NYC and London. We finally talked by phone, and we're meeting up on Friday night. He said all the right things. All the right things. He sounds flawless. Perfect slave material. I can't wait until Friday.

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Tomorrow I am being deposed. What's that? Well, in a lawsuit, parties are entitle to receive written testimony from other parties. That testimony is called 'Answers to Interrogatories.' And, parties are entitled to receive oral testimony. That is taken at a deposition. Tomorrow at 2 p.m. in Roseland, New Jersey, lawyers will ask me questions and I will answer them.

What is this all about? Well, three days after I got my jeep, I was driving into NYC on a Saturday night. At the corner of 5th and Coles, I came to a stop, looked left, looked right, and looked left again. I saw nothing coming, so I hit the gas. POW! A car service car driven by a Sikh (and I love Sikhs, especially after seeing the English Patient) ploughed into me. Because the cars were parked along Jersey Avenue to the corner, I only had visibility about 40 or 50 feet up the block. So I saw nothing coming. In order to traverse that distance, he must have been flying like a bat out of hell.

Anyway, there was a woman who was his passenger. After the cops came, we were all standing around talking. The other driver was fine. I was fine. The woman was fine. Alas, one of the helpful representatives of Jersey City's finest said to the woman something like, "Are you sure you're alright?" She said, "Oh, sure. I'm okay" and then thought better of it, started rubbing her neck, and said, "Oh. Or maybe not." The cop asked if she wanted an ambulance, "just in case," and she decided she did. We all sort of looked at each other. One of the cops looked at me and rolled his eyes in commiseration.

Sure enough, she's suing. She is suing me and her driver as co-defendants. Not sure what her testimony will reveal, whether she agrees that the guy was speeding or whether she'll finger me. As the swarthy might not be popular and credible right now, she might go that route. Although if the case is being argued in Hudson County, chances are most of the jury will be similarly swarthy. So she might finger me.

Whatever. Happily, I'm ensured.

So that's what's on the agenda for tomorrow.

Hi ho.

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