Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Crying

Dang.

Was just messaging back and forth with a guy on World Leathermen. He's a big, built, cigar smoking, bearded man. And he's looking for a Sir. We were comparing notes. He's not having much more luck than I am.

I told him about how it was with the Boss during MAL. How lying there in bed next to him, wearing that heavy gauge collar around my neck, I started to cry, and cry and cry and cry. Cried because it felt so right. Cried because I was afraid it would end. Cried because I knew that I'd be taking the collar off soon. Just cried.

My interlocutor responded, "I know what you're talking about on all counts."

It felt so good.

I don't want to do a scene. I don't want to get flogged or punched or whipped or tied up or whatever. I just want to have a chain padlocked around my neck. And if I cry, Sir doesn't flip out. Cuz Sir will get it. On all counts.


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