Monday, August 02, 2004


Yeah, I'm grumpy. Grumpy grumpy grumpy.

Tired at work today, and I drilled the front rather than the back of a door to put a hinge on. First mistake in the past four days that I worked. Stupid stupid stupid. It's not like I don't know better. And it's not quite true that I wasn't thinking. I was thinking my way through the job, the way I need to think my way through every job, because I don't know the drill by heart yet. But I was thinking about making sure the the hinge plate was tight against the jig rather than doing the right side of the door, and before you know it...

Ah well. Nobody freaked out too much. Which bothered me. Do they think "well-of-course-Dutch-is-gonna-screw-up-cuz-he-always-screws-up'? Is that why they didn't make a fuss?

[You see how this troubled mind of mine works, huh?]

Yeah. I'm feeling discouraged.

I've been reading girl fag's blog (like I always do, i's wunnerful, so should you!), and she's been talking about setting up house in her new apartment.


Damn I would love to be setting up house in my new apartment. Picking some good paint colors, stocking a kitchen, figuring out how to make the place work as a playspace.


But no. I have a bedroom that's packed to the rafters with a quarter of my worldly goods, and a garage stocked with the other three quarters. I'd paint, but there's too much in there to move around to paint.


Enuf o' dat.

Had a really good email exchange with a guy on WorldLeatherman. He's on his own Ink Journey, which is well documented on his website. Lovin' kinkdog. What a great guy. Really interesting ideas. Very Right On.

And our brief exchange got me outta my head. Ink as a journey. Yeah. I'm getting ready for my next session with Joe Rose on Friday night. Across my butt and up my back. The chain continues. Journey within a journey. Like a circle in a circle like a spiral in a spiral. Eddies in the flow of the great river of my life.

So I can be satisfied with that. That's enough to to hold my focus and attention.

So it's all good.

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