The (gay) Man Who Loved Women

The posting below gets me thinkin'...

I am a homo. We're talkin' Kinsey Six.

But whenever I'm in a big mixed group of homos, I gravitate towards the women. In my ACT UP days, the affinity group I joined was the Big Bull Fems, basically comprising the lesbian caucus of ACT UP and me. I remember with a smile one night when I was hangin' with the Fems. We went to the Bar at 2nd Ave and 2nd Street. It was a boyz bar, but there were usually women sprinkled here and there. That night, with the influx of Big Bull Fems, there were a lot of women. And me.

So we're all standing around drinking beer and laughing and talking, and after we all had tossed back a few, I orchestrated this game of sorts. (Always the Top.) I forget how I managed to get everybody to do this, but here was the basic idea. We all stood in a circle. One person in the circle would take a swig of beer. Then, the person would pass the beer mouth-to-mouth to the person to her (or in my case 'his') left. And that person would pass mouth-to-mouth to her or his left, and so forth around the circle. When your swig got back to you, you swallowed.

Good thing no one among us had a cold, huh?

It started off all giggly and jokey, but very quickly became Not That. The vibe got really heavy. Everyone else in the bar sort of stopped what they were doing and watched. It was very hot.

Possibly this goes back to my growing up in Bucks County. I was sort of The Boy Raised by Lesbians. Many of the gay men in and around New Hope held a vision of paradise that was an elaborate dinner party, everybody dressed to the nines, with much salacious gossip concerning dead movie actresses. And that really wasn't my scene. In contrast, the lesbians I knew were doing cool things like growing their own food and taking motorcycle trips across the country.

Something about lesbians. There's something just so substantial about so many of the lesbians I've known and loved.

I sort of don't like the fact that there are no lesbians in GMSMA. I mean, there are, but they have 'honorary member' status, so it's not like I'm working with them on the Program Committee or something. I wonder if I could hang out with LSM?

So social interaction and foolin' around is one thing.

And then I whipped whipping boy. whipping boy is bio-female, and... uh... y'know... a female-female, although there's a genderfuck thing going on. Think 'boy with boobs.' As in, very boy. I still tingle thinking about the scene we did. Speaking just for myself, the energy was amazing. it was beautiful. Just perfect. Wonderful connection.

And then I discovered that cubby, a boi-identified lesbian (I'm pretty sure I have that right), who it turns out lives around the corner from me, and is soon to provide me with bootblack services.

And now here I am having these hot and lush fantasies about girlfag. (Another interesting parallel: she's a lesbian who likes hanging out with gay men; and I'm a gay man who likes hanging out with lesbians.)

As a member of GMSMA, I'm firmly behind the policy of maintaining the majority of meetings as gay-man-only space. But this doesn't come from the place of the He-Man Girl Haters Club on the Little Rascals. Rather, it's because several times I've been in larger pan groups where all the women got together in a room somewhere. (Well... all the women and me.) And there's this great energy! You can feel it! And I think it's important to have places in the world where just gay men into S/M can be together and feel our own energy.

But I crave that Womyn-only-plus-me experience.

If there's a lesbian equivalent of Inferno, I wanna be there. In fact, I'm pretty sure that there's not a lesbian equivalent of Inferno. So I'd like to make it known that I stand ready and willing to help organize a lesbian equivalent of Inferno. Because if I work really hard, maybe I'd get to go along and work in the beer tent or something.

And that would be really cool.

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