I, Welder...

So I have an interview tomorrow morning with a 'rep' for Apex Technical School. A lot of these places tend to be financial aid mills. They have a big apparatus to get you hooked up with financial aid so that they get paid, then they just have to churn you through the courses.

How do I know so much about this? When I was graduated from college, there were no jobs for liberal arts majors like myself. I went to the Philadelphia Institute for Paralegal Studies. The course work was actually interesting, although fairly useless. I could have gotten the $15,000/year job I got upon graduating without going through the Philadelphia Institute for Paralegal Studies. And I'm still paying of the $6,000 student loan I got to finance my... uh... education. Note that I had no debt whatsoever from going to college. When my first mother died, my father started receiving checks from social security. He duly socked those away in the bank, and thus, my college education was paid for fifteen years later. Having obtained a Bachelor of the Arts Degree in English, I firmly resolved that if I ever were to get a degree again, it would be practical, as in, by putting an '-er' suffix onto the name of the degree, you'd have the job title that degree would qualify you for.

Like 'Welding.' Drop the -ing and add an -er and you get 'welder.'

So how much do welders make? I'm hard pressed to believe that I couldn't do better as a welder than I did in the non-profit sector or working for a local elected official.

Here's the tricky thing. The 'rep' I'm meeting with tomorrow morning gets paid on commission on the number of poor saps like me that he enrolls. So he'll tell me anything in order to get me to sign zee papers. Anything.

"How much could you expect to make on your first job after you get your degree? Oh, about a hundred million dollars."

"A gay and lesbian student union? Why yes. We have a very active group. Why I myself am the faculty advisor to that group."

But still, how cool would it be to be a student again? And not just that, but my classroom would be a welding shop. At the end of the day, I'd be filthy and sweaty.

Now, how exactly would I bankroll this?

Well, I'm selling my condo in Fort Leatherdale, I could ask my Dad for help, and I could probably qualify for student aid.

And maybe I'm being an elitist goof about this, but somehow I think I wouldn't be your typical GED carrying welding job applicant. Mr. Allen, my rep, clearly wasn't expecting the answer I gave when he asked 'what's your level of education?' and heard me respond, "I have a Bachelor of the Arts degree in English."

So what'll I wear tomorrow? Since I haven't been working, it's been all about leathering up. (Last week, a guy at the gym saw me getting dressed and asked, "Is there a leather event tonight?" I said not that I know of. I guess if I had been on my mark I would have said, "Buddy, wherever I am it's a leather event!" But I don't have the chutzpah to pull that off.) Chinos and an oxford cloth shirt doesn't seem appropriate either. Eh. I'll figure something out.

Perhaps I will long remember July 19th. That's the day that I collared a slave and started on my rewarding and fulfilling path as a welder.

Before I go off the deep end on this, I'd better do a google search on 'jobs welding'

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