Steel into the Night

A bazillion years ago or so I lived in a studio on First Avenue and 6th Street. There were four Indian restaurants in my building, and all the roaches that go with that.

My next door neighbors were a passle of NYU students. One night, my peaceful reveries were disturbed by a loud TOOM! TOOM! TOOM! TOOM on the (paper thin) wall between my apartment and theirs. They were rebounding a soccer ball off the wall. I knocked on their door, and when it opened, offered my most surely "The ball bouncing has got to stop."

But no sooner were the words out of my mouth then I saw Him. I think my jaw dropped. He was about 19 years old. Baby-fat muscular, like a high school wrestler. He had a mohawk. Not one of the serious mohawks that the anarkids on St. Marks Place had, but just sorta... y'know... did that while fucking around with a razor. A Winston dangled from his lip. He had a chin cleft. He was shirtless.

They were all pretty much "Yeah okay Dude. No prob. Sorry man. You get stoned?"

Once back in my apartment, guess what my reveries turned to? If you guessed Mohawk Boy, you guessed right. From that point on until I moved out, whenever I heard the door open downstairs, or when I heard getting-ready-to-leave noises next door, I would run to my door and peer through the peep hole, hoping for an eyeful of Mohawk Boy.

After all these years, after this morning's post, I found myself once again thinking about Mohawk Boy. Thinking what? Thinking about restraining him in some way, and wrapping his wrists and ankles with asbestos canvas (is there such a thing?). Then, welding in place cold rolled steel cuffs. A similar cuff goes around his ballsack, too. And then a collar. Connnecting the ankle cuffs would be a lenghth of heavy steel chain about 15 inches long. But we're not done with Mohawk Boy yet. Picture with your mind's eye a steel rod, about 3/4" in diameter. This is bent to form a perfect circle. It's inserted like a bit into Mohawk Boy's mouth, and welded fast behind his head. Now, Mohawk Boy will only be able to communicate the way he does when he's in the dentist's chair.

Can't you just hear Mohawk Boy now?

"Eee-Aah-un Eee-uh. O-ah Aw eeee Aw-ah.

Steel is eternal. Mohawk Boy will be in chains until he turns to dust.

My chains. The chains I welded onto Mohawk Boy.

I have got to learn to weld.

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