Work

My daily checking of craigslist turns up nada.

So annoying.

Anybody out there know of any pornographers? A million years ago, when I was a senior in college, I worked 11pm to 6am at a diner in Reading, Pennsylvania. The stories I could tell... Now, bear in mind that this was a crude iteration of me. I was in a very anti-materialist phase. Scraggly beard, long unkempt hair, thick glasses, thin as a rail... get the picture? So one night I had a customer. He was the only guy in the place. We got to talking, and pretty quickly he put his cards on the table: if I let him take pictures of me jerking off, he'd give me $100.

I turned him down, thinking, "What if I run for public office some day?" (I had no intention of ever running for public office some day.)

Where is that guy now?

Here's the offer: I will shuck my clothes and jerk off while you take pictures if you give me $250 up front. (I'm better looking than I was then, and it was twenty years ago, so... y'know... inflation and all.)

I'm waiting.

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