Sunday, March 16, 2003

Security just left. I'm buzzing. Our meeting was all I had hoped it would be and more.

This feeling, after a wonderful scene, is something I just want to go on and on and on. It's like being under a spell I don't want to break. I remember the conversation I had on the last night of Mid-Atlantic Leather with Toledo. He said something along the lines of, "Well, tomorrow it's back to reality." I replied, and only realized this as the words came out of my mouth: "No, this is reality. That's sleepwalking."

A really interesting thing happened. In the scene, I saw Security as an eagle. It was like--as in some Native American traditions--he has an eagle-spirit, and I saw that spirit, it was made manifest during the scene.

At the same time, now, I feel my wolf spirit rising like a river.

So now I don't quite know what to do with myself. I have a hankering to go into the City and have dinner. At the same time, I want to be alone. In short, I don't know quite what I want.

Ah. That's what I want. I want to take my wolf out for a run. I want to go to some deserted nighttime place. The moon is full. The air is cool but not cold. I want to run my wolf in the night. Close to the ground. Alive. Aware. Smelling, seeing, feeling, hearing. That's what I want.


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