So you're lookin' at this guy, and he's lookin' at you, and it's cool. And then he comes over, and you start talking, and he casually mentions something that has your imagination turning cartwheels and the ol' trouser snake coming to life. That's a Knee-Weakener. Or he says something that feels like a bucket of cold water and instantly has you scanning the room to see who else might be interesting. That's a Deal Killer.
Herewith are my Knee-Weakeners and Deal Killers.
KW: I'm a cop.
DK: I'm a lawyer
KW: I usually spend weekends riding my cycle upstate
DK: I usually spend weekends polishing my Erte figurine collection
KW: I love Abstract Expressionism
DK: I love the Impressionists
KW: Think that the Red Hot Chili Peppers have it in them to put out any more good music?
DK: Think that Brigadoon will be revived any time soon?
KW: Do you shave your head yourself? I'm actually pretty good at doing that 'cuz of an old boyfriend of mine.
DK: I envy you. It's unbelievable how much I spend on hair care products.
KW: Mets or Yankees?
DK: Versacci or D&G?
KW: Nice dog! We should set up a playdate so he can meet my rottie.
DK: I can spend hours watching my tropical fish aquarium and not realize time is passing by.
KW: Wanna grab something to eat? There's a place around the corner that has great burgers.
DK: I usually bring food with me because I don't eat meat, I'm lactose intolerant, I have wheat gluten alergies, and I'm really particular about what I eat.
KW: I left it in my truck.
DK: You're parked pretty close to my Nissan
KW: Can I light up a cigar in here or will they freak out?
DK: Oh. My. God. That person way over there at the bar just lit up a cigarette. I've got to get out of here immediately.
KW: Gimme a Bud please.
DK: Yes, I'd like a dirty Tanqueray martini.
KW: I'd like to, but I've gotta get to church tomorrow morning.
DK: These are healing crystals that my holistic health counselor gave me. There's one for each Chakra point.
KW: I'm going with a buddy of mine to get another tattoo.
DK: I'm going with a friend of mine to get a botanical facial.
KW: Be right back. I've got to go waste some piss... I mean, take a piss
DK: Oh gosh! There's my cell phone! 'Hello? Hey, what's going on? Me? Nothing. Yeah, y'know...'
KW: When I was in Nepal last year...
DK: When I was in Ibiza last year...
KW: Last time I moved, I thought the movers were gonna kill me because of all the books I have.
DK: Last time I moved, I thought the movers were gonna walk off the job because screaming at them to be careful so much."
KW: Damn, I love a good cup of coffee
DK: Damn, I love a good slam of Tina.
KW: I was arrested once after a bar fight
DK: I was arrested once for shoplifiting cologne.
KW: Damn you're hot. When are we gonna hook up?
DK: You look so serious! Smile!
KW: It's a shame that in his later writings, Sartre got on his whole Marxism kick and tied himself in knots.
DK: Did you read that thing about Kylie Minogue in Vanity Fair?
KW: When I think about September 11th... I mean, the tragedy is just overwhelming...
DK: When I think about what happened to Mariah Carey's career... I mean, the tragedy is just overwhelming...
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