Wednesday, December 24, 2003


Final day at work yesterday before our break was a doozey.

I'm sanding away. Focused and earnest. Then, the Vice President of the company (that would be, the Big Boss' husband) approaches me. He asks if I'd be up for a delivery.

Now, in general, that would be cool. You get paid for sitting in a truck, and then you get to play Big Butch Delivery Guy when we get to the customer's house. And, if the house is a McMansion, I get to post tirades about the proliferation of Bad Design here.

But not on Christmas Eve Eve. The guy who drives the truck and makes our deliveries is a really sad guy. He and his wife hate each other. They're beating each other over the head with divorce. She has a boyfriend. He has a girlfriend. His girlfriend is described by my co-workers as a "total beast." And, the girlfriend is basically fucking all the straight men in Doylestown behind his back. He hates his job. He hates his life. And while you're riding in the truck with him, you get to hear all the details of that.

Not what I'm up for. Not my idea of Christmas Eve Eve.

But, I wanna be the Go To Guy, so I said sure. Then, I was talking to one of my co-workers at the sanding table whose name begins with J. J said that the truck driver and he had talked yesterday about doing the delivery. No skin off my nose! So when VP came by and told me it was time to head out on the road, I said, "Oh, by the way, I talked to J, and he's all set to go out on the delivery. He and truck driver talked about it yesterday."

And VP replies, "Well J. and truck driver don't get to make those decisions around here."


Oh I see.

You go, Mr. Executive! I'll leave it to you to sweat the big ones! You go on and make those Hard Calls, like which of the drones at the sanding table goes out on a delivery.

Puh-LEEEZE. Sort of disheartening to learn that Vice President is indeed the asshole that everyone says he is. And more good news. The delivery was in Saddle River, New Jersey, practically in Newburgh, New York. We wouldn't be back until around 8:30 that night.

Once on the road, I promptly fell asleep. It was for a self protecting move. Truck driver's plans for the holiday? "I'm gonna sit home. Sleep. Hopefully that bitch will be out of the house at her family or something."

There were two stops we were making in the wilds of North Jersey. And I have to admit I had a good time taking on the role of Big Butch Delivery Guy. And on the second job we delivered, I had, in fact, played a significant role in doing the finishing on all of the cabinets we unloaded. I had sanded, stained, scuffed, and glazed. Everything but sprayed the sealer. And they looked great. Both of the houses were under construction. At the first house, I played eye-hockey with this woofy guy who was there installing down-spouting. There I was, among these Workin' Men. Me. A Workin' Man.

Our work done, truck driver and I headed for home. We stopped at Wegman's in Somerville on the way. I had a good dinner.

I was concerned about my paycheck. The word was that we were going to get our paychecks that afternoon, before the break. I asked truck driver to call VP and have him set my paycheck aside somewhere for me so I could pick it up when we got in. Truck driver relayed the conversation with me. VP said that payday would be Friday, and I could pick up my check Friday morning.

During break.

Just fuckin great. Just what I want to do. Haul my ass in there to pick up my paycheck. Just because they don't offer direct deposit. Just because they couldn't get their acts together to hand out the paychecks before the break.

So I'm plotting revenge. I think I'll say to VP when he hands me my check, "We were all expecting to get these on Tuesday, like we did before we went out for Thanksgiving. Guess you're having cashflow problems with the holidays?" And say to my co-workers, "It sucks we didn't get our paychecks on Tuesday. I guess they're having cashflow problems."

Having been the Big Boss, I know how things like that just drive you apeshit. You want to climb on top of a chair and shout, "No! Everything is fine! We're not having cashflow problems!" Because if you're having cashflow problems, then that makes people insecure about their jobs, and productivity goes down because everyone is worrying and looking for another job at a place where there aren't cashflow problems. And, that boxes VP into a corner, because he can't say, "No, the reason I made everyone come in on their day off was because I'm an inconsiderate asshole, but it's not because we're having cashflow problems."

heh heh heh.

Merry Christmas, Asshole.

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